PN Podcast Episode 52 - Practical Parenting in Quarantine

In episode 52 of the Parent Network Podcast Sass talks to Shelly Kinder and Erica Svab about some really practical parenting ideas as our time of quarantine continues. They offer some simple suggestions and share about real moments from their family life in this season. They also share about a family challenge you can participate in. Listen and Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Sound Cloud. And don't forget to share!

In episode 52 Sass talks to Shelly Kinder and Erica Svab about some really practical parenting ideas as our time of quarantine continues. They offer some simple suggestions and share about real moments from their family life in this season. They also share about a family challenge you can participate in.

Five Ways to Turn Crisis into Opportunity

* The following article was copied from www.allprodad.com.

Are you turning crisis into opportunity? There is little so unsettling as watching fear create the exact experience people were anxious about in the first place. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy, like when we worry that we won’t be able to access toilet paper in a global crisis so we buy all the toilet paper, thereby making toilet paper impossible to find in stores.

“Instead of being fearful, we could be turning crisis into opportunity.”

But we have a choice. Instead of being fearful, we could be turning crisis into opportunity. Because good things can happen in hard times, too. Rather than being panicked and afraid, we and our families can get stronger in every way, despite the chaos around us. Here are 5 fast ways to do that.

Be a “glass half full” person.

Change is a constant and challenge is, too. So look at what you can do instead of at what you can’t do. Shift from reactive to proactive and from defensive to offensive. When a crisis looms, All Pro Dads are like firefighters or marines, who walk toward the problem instead of cowering away from it. (See 10 Leadership Lessons from George Washington.)

Learn to distinguish between wants and needs.

We could complain about the current crisis and what it means for most of us—we have to ration our toilet paper, wait until next year to watch the Olympics, and eat at home instead of at restaurants. But did we ever truly need the conveniences and sources of entertainment that we don’t have now? Instead, let’s use this as an opportunity to rest more while we can and to reset, reframe, and retool in prep for the future.

Cultivate a generous heart.

Your family needs you. Your community needs you. What can you do to serve them today? Now is the time to be more self-giving than before by being present to your wife and kids, by staying home if you’re sick, by giving a roll of toilet paper to the neighbor who ran out. Generosity can be contagious in the family and beyond and it is a far more effective long-term plan than “look out for number one.”

Build bridges.

Social distancing doesn’t have to mean isolation. Be proactive in your efforts to stay connected to your loved ones. Video chat with friends and neighbors you can’t meet up with like usual. Help your kids have virtual playdates. Call your loved ones who are in nursing homes or assisted living facilities and aren’t allowed to have visitors. This will only serve to enhance a sense of community after the immediate crisis passes.

Be grateful for the lessons learned.

The National Health Service in the UK reports that, as a group, English schoolchildren were healthier from 1939 through 1952 than in any other time in the 20th Century. The reason? Rationing. More fresh vegetables, food grown at home, less meat, less candy. Our opportunity in crisis is to look for what’s good in the midst of it—the slower pace, the additional family time, the less full schedule—and plan to apply it to our lives when the crisis ends.

In what ways are you turning crisis into opportunity lately?

How the Pandemic Has Been Good for Parenting

* The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.

Parents Just Want to Keep Kids Safe

If you have ever read any kind of parenting blog, book or resource, you are probably familiar with the term “helicopter parent.” It’s the parenting style that thrives on hovering over the children, paying attention to any sense of discomfort, unhappiness, emotional distress and then taking care of it. In recent years, a new kind of parenting emerged (even more intrusive than helicopter parenting, if you can imagine). They call it “lawnmower parenting.”

Essentially, it’s parenting by preparing the path for the child instead of the child for the path.

A lawnmower parent doesn’t wait until something difficult happens to their child and then sweeps in to fix it, like the helicopter parent. The lawnmower parent makes sure something difficult never happens. (Think college admissions cheating scandal.) Lawnmower parenting removes all obstacles. It serves as a buffer, a barricade between the real world and the child. It comes from a place of love and concern. But it is largely motivated by fear. And as most parents realize, at some point or another, parenting doesn’t work the way they realize.

Because ultimately, this desire to protect and keep safe and to shield? It backfires when we understand that no amount of parenting can keep our kids safe from the world.

And that’s what COVID-19 has made increasingly clear. As a result, our default parenting strategies and styles are being challenged in a way they never have before. In a strange sort of way, this age of COVID-19 is saving our children from our detrimental parenting strategies.

The World Is Not Always a Safe Place

Because the truth is, this pandemic crisis has brought to light what has always been true, but we, as parents have been reluctant to admit. The world isn’t always a safe place. It isn’t fair. It isn’t easy. It raises questions we don’t know how to answer. The truth is, there’s not a whole lot we can do to protect our kids from the reality of life. No amount of helicopter parenting or lawnmower parenting will do it.

That’s the bad news.

The good news? What our kids can learn as a result. Resilience. Resilience is the skill we develop when things are challenging, difficult and overwhelming, when it feels like we can’t go on, but then learn, remarkably, that we can. That even though things don’t go the way we want, we discover we are far more capable than we think we are.

That’s what these strange times have the potential to teach our kids.
That the world is scary. But we can handle it.
That things don’t look familiar. But that we can face it.
That uncertainty is hard. But we can survive it.
That nothing feels secure. But that we will always have each other.

That’s resilience. A lesson we never would have chosen for our kids, but a lesson our kids need nonetheless.

Our Kids are Learning Resilience

Our families and our kids have lost a lot of things in the past couple of months.
We lost normalcy.
We lost structure.
We lost sports.
We lost birthday parties.
We lost playdates.
We lost graduations.
We lost church gatherings.
We lost the intangible millions of little and big things that made our life, ours.

And there have been more days and nights than maybe we care to admit where we felt overwhelmed and emotionally beat up. Moments where another day doing the same thing in the same space with the same needy children makes us want to bang our heads against the wall. We feel defeated. We feel like we are failing. We feel like if there was a “best practices” for parenting in a pandemic (which there aren’t), we’d be screwing it up in every way possible.

But here’s the thing.

We’re still here. We are still getting up every day and doing it. Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not even adequately. (Although really, who’s to judge?) We are showing up. And so are our kids. They’re learning as they go, just as we are. And it may not be great or even good. But it’s enough.

See, the secret in this time isn’t just that our kids are learning the lesson of resilience—the lesson we never wanted to teach them for fear of what the challenges might do to them. The secret is that we are learning resilience, too.

We are Learning Resilience, Too

As parents. As families. As neighborhoods. As churches. As schools. As cities. As states. As countries. As a global community. We are growing and stretching and it is uncomfortable and painful. But because we have no other option. We are doing it.

We are working from home while homeschooling and sheltering in place. We are pivoting our lives. We are physically distanced from family and physically vulnerable loved ones.

We are finding that the things we outsourced to others—whether that’s cooking or our kids’ spiritual development—we are doing ourselves, and we aren’t terrible at it. Not that it’s been easy.

But we are discovering, thanks to resilience, we are far more capable than we thought we were. What a surprise. And what a gift.

There’s a lot that COVID-19 has taken from us. A lot that isn’t fair. A lot we didn’t expect or plan for. But it has given us something too. The blessing of resilience. And that is no small thing. For us or for our kids. We will be better for it. We will.

How to Reduce Stress While Stuck at Home: 7 Tips

* The following article was copied from www.familylife.com.

My husband and I often walk through our neighborhood park. Recently, our 9-year-old daughter wanted to tag along. While Robbie and I grumbled about the stress of being stuck at home for so long, Katherine gathered “wishes” (dandelion seed pods) and blew them across the grassy lawns.

At one point, with a handful of the fluffy puffs, Katherine came skipping from behind us as fast as she could, hair flowing in the breeze with “wishes” flying all around her. She burst into laughter as she watched the seeds scatter through the air.

In the midst of chaos and irritation, Katherine was carefree, even enjoying the extra family time.

I wanted to be her in that moment—a carefree child, assured all is well.

How to reduce stress while stuck at home

God gave us a longing for that kind of peace and rest. Unfortunately, most of us maintain a life of continual anxiety, especially during a national crisis. Instead of taking time to enjoy our situation and the quietness of the mind, imaginations run wild with all the “possibilities” of a fallout.

That kind of fear takes a toll on our bodies, our attitudes, and our relationships.

Dr. Archibald Hart is an expert on the effects of stress on the body, and he explains how prolonged time with others actually creates anxiety. In his book The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress, he says:

Ninety-five percent of stress is caused by other people … How do people cause us stress? Chiefly they make us fearful and angry, by threatening our security or withholding the love or approval we crave. And the emotions of fear and anger, which in turn cause more fear and bring out self-protecting instincts, push buttons at the very core of our survival mechanisms. When we become angry or fearful, the message we send our bodies is “Danger!”

And in the case of a life-threatening illness, the stress level goes up. In order to have healthy marriages and families, we must learn how to reduce stress in our lives. Particularly if it’s at an overwhelming level.

Wondering how to reduce stress now? Here are seven ideas to help.

1. Evaluate your stress level.

Dennis and Barbara Rainey designed The Pressure Test in their book, Pressure Proof Your Marriage. It helps you measure the amount of stress weighing on your marriage and family. Just total up the points and check your score. This test will give you a broad view of the commitments and challenges in your life and identify major pressure points.

2. Refresh daily with the Bible.

Psalm 1:3 says the man who delights in God’s Word will be “like a tree planted by streams of water … In all that he does, he prospers.” Reading Scripture will equip you with wisdom, peace, and courage to help your daily battles. It’s a necessary investment in your life as you struggle with how to reduce stress.

Find a place to get alone with God. Jesus said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

You may be thinking, “I wish I could get away, but my children constantly beg for my attention!” Susanna Wesley was mother to 19 children (including John Wesley). When she wanted to spend time with God, she covered her head with an apron, a sign to leave Mother alone.

You may not even own an apron, but the moral of the story is circumstances don’t have to be perfect to spend time with God. He can meet you wherever you are.

3. Take a day each week to rest.

God thinks rest is so important He made it one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:8). God Himself even rested after six days of creating the world (Genesis 2:2). If He needs rest, you do, too!

While planning your weekly activities, set aside one day with no plans or meetings. Make it a family night. Connect by solving a jigsaw puzzle, playing games, or making popcorn and ice cream floats and watching a movie.

Dr. Hart says, “I am convinced that most of us could improve our physical and emotional health dramatically if we just slept or rested a little longer than usual.”

4. Seek peace with others, especially at home.

Unresolved conflict can cause high anxiety. Proverbs 29:9 says, “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.”

As Christians, we’re told to be at peace as much as possible (Romans 12:18). That includes your spouse and children. Being stuck at home with tension makes life harder and more stressful.

Pray for a heart of forgiveness for those who offend you and a heart of humility as you face how you might offend others. Then make a list of relationships that need restitution. For a complete guide on how to resolve conflict, i.e. how to reduce stress, visit Peacemaker® Ministries.

If tackling sensitive issues makes your marriage suffer more, put off the major topics until you can meet with a counselor. Some counseling offices offer video meetings.

5. Take one day at a time.

Humanity thrives on schedules. We like routine and knowing what to expect. The coronavirus has ruined plans for weddings, graduations, school schedules, births, and even funerals. How can you plan vacations or birthday parties if the future is unreliable? How do you reduce stress when this contributes to the stress you already have?

You may feel out of control, but God is still in control. As Job marveled, “Does not he see my ways and number all my steps?” (31:4). Put your life in His hands and try not worry. Jesus said, “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34).

6. Create a schedule.

As previously stated, humankind thrives on schedules. Your life will be less chaotic and run more smoothly if you create loose schedules. Don’t keep it too rigid. Allow for last minute surprises.

When you’re feeling frazzled and wondering how to reduce stress, some order will help. Here are a few ideas:

• Wake up at the same time each day.

• Take a shower and get dressed. Even if you wear jeans and a t-shirt, you’ll feel ready to tackle the day.

• Create a daily/weekly schedule for reoccurring activities. Don’t forget to include times for rest and play.

• Eat healthy meals, regulate sleep, and do some form of daily exercise.

7. Remember, this too shall pass.

The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us God has set a proper time for everything under heaven (see chapter 3). He is the controller of the universe, so you don’t have to be.

There will be mistakes and misunderstandings, but there is no problem too big for God to handle. As Solomon said, “He makes all things beautiful in His time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Instead of stressing over difficult circumstances, use this time as a faith-building experience, and trust God to take care of everything.

Changed for the Better: How to Keep the Good from COVID Quarantine

* The following article was copied from www.familylife.com.

Sometimes bad circumstances bring about future good. And for many families, their lives have been changed for the better by the quarantine.

This pandemic has brought about devastating effects for many families. Job loss, depression, stress, and grieving the loss of loved ones are not minor issues. But for some families, their lives have been changed for the better.

My sister-in-law shared how staying home has been a blessing in disguise for her family. They’re so overcommitted with sports, extracurricular activities, and church obligations, that they were relieved to finally have free time. Her family sat down and ate dinners together. She and her husband sat on the couch and watched a movie holding hands—for the first time in a long time.

Maybe you’ve experienced similar revelations—like how long it’s been since you really talked to your spouse. Maybe you felt a renewed sense of rest. Or maybe the lines of personal and work time have been blurred for far too long, and you see them more clearly.

AJ Shanker, CEO and cofounder of Everlaw, predicts this pandemic will have lasting impact on societal work environments for the better. By normalizing working from home, he says people will challenge the “always available” mindset. “For employee-friendly companies, evening hours will ultimately revert to family or personal time, as they should.”

Sometimes bad circumstances bring about future good. The Bible is certainly replete with examples of how God uses suffering to make life better—for example, the stories of Job, Joseph, Paul, and Jesus.

And isn’t that the hope of Romans 8:28? “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Changed for the better—making it stick

When I chatted with my sister-in-law and heard all the ways her home life has been changed for the better through the coronavirus, I wondered how they’re going to keep these changes when the “new normal” is over. Will she and her husband be able to say “no” when the commitments come calling again? Will they know how to protect the rediscovered family time?

Our conversation inspired me to identify ways our lives have been changed for the better and some ideas to, hopefully, help make them stick. Here are five good changes I think we’d all like to hang on to.

1. We’re no longer overinvolved and overcommitted.

Maybe you can’t wait to get back to the ball games and dance recitals. Some families thrive and connect through these events. But if you find yourself woefully dreading the day sign-ups begin, it’s probably time for reevaluation.

Remember, it’s OK to say “no.” You don’t have to be the coach or snack-shack volunteer every season. Let yourself sit on the bench and cheer! Or if you can’t stand the thought of missing out, scale back your role. If you’ve coached the swim team multiple years in a row, let someone else have a turn while you fill a supporting role.

2. We have extra family time.

If you’ve found yourself longing for this kind of family connection all the time, rest assured it is possible (even during life as usual). Family memories can happen more often than the yearly vacation or occasional birthday party.

One way to continue the pandemic fun is to choose one night a week to have family night. It’s not important what you do together—serve popcorn and watch a movie, play a game, make a fire and roast marshmallows. But if family connection is going to make it into your post-COVID life, it has to be planned. Once it’s on the calendar, guard it. When someone asks if you can volunteer that night, say, “I’m sorry, I have plans.”

3. We’ve enjoyed extra connection with our spouses.

Like family time, if you enjoy more eye contact, physical touch, and your spouse’s company, you have to be intentional to keep it going. My husband and I have a weekly date night on Friday. This is actually something the pandemic has taken away from us, and we can feel the toll it has taken on our relationship.

During normal life circumstances, couples are prone to have conversations with their heads down, usually while looking at a phone or computer screen. Television often fills the room with sights and sounds, replacing human interaction. And community and church commitments, work schedules, even plans with friends and extended family all come between couple connection frequently.

If you’ve enjoyed the change to quieter times of connection, don’t let it get away from you. Put a regular event on the calendar just for your spouse. Like family time, couple time won’t magically appear after the quarantine. You have to plan for it if it’s going to survive the barrage of needs in the coming months.

4. We’ve discovered a sense of contentment.

Much of our time and money is spent shopping. One statistic shows approximately two-thirds of the U.S. gross domestic product (GDP) comes from retail consumption. One of the lessons I’ve learned from quarantine is I can scratch my itch for “something new” without spending money. Creativity goes a long way. By making something myself, it gives me a sense of accomplishment.

“Shopping” at home has also helped. Before I go online to buy, I look around the house to see if I have a suitable substitute. I have things in closets and hiding in the garage I didn’t even remember I had!

Learning to live with what I have has saved us a lot of money. By continuing with this change after stores reopen, we’ll reap the financial benefits in the long run.

5. The elephant in the room became unavoidable.

Many couples have perfected a dance around all the elephants lingering in their homes. It’s a lot easier to avoid them when everyone is coming and going. But lock everyone in the same house, and suddenly those elephants start stepping on toes.

Some homes may feel like they are in the midst of a stampede. Even though at times it may feel like you won’t survive, addressing those big issues actually gives your relationship longer life. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it will take some healing. But conflict resolution and communication are essential skills only learned through trial by fire.

Going forward, bring up the hard topics as soon as they appear. Just like cleaning house, a regularly “cleaned” relationship will be much easier to maintain. Think of this pandemic as a new starting point from which to move forward.

Changes and lessons learned

These are just a broad overview of some of the big changes and lessons I’m learning through the quarantine. Let me encourage you—evaluate your own life and look for how God has let your life be changed for the better. Give Him thanks for His provisions and the insights you’ve received.

Going through the COVID-19 pandemic has been difficult, but it has much wisdom to offer if we will learn from it. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

I don’t want to be foolish and not apply the knowledge I’ve gained about life. Let’s all allow God to use this situation to make our marriages and families stronger.

Working With Kids at Home During COVID-19

* The following article was copied from www.familylife.com.

Crusted cereal bowls. Kitchen counter desks. Bed sheet forts just out of conference call camera view…How do we keep up working with kids at home?

I type from a “standing desk” in my kitchen, working with kids at home. This is to say I’m at the kitchen counter, mat beneath my feet, the family betta fish swimming behind my screen. Next to the fish, there’s a piece of foil languishing from my son’s chicken sandwich. And behind the counter stands a sizable fort of bed sheets, chairs, and rubber bands.

I hear my husband’s voice on a conference call up the stairs. My daughter hums from the hallway; my son is cuddled with a laptop on the sofa. And one hasn’t truly lived until a teenager interrupts a conference call to inform you the unplunged toilet resembles a war zone.

Somehow, all six of us are working from home. Welcome to the new normal.

At one point early on, I flopped on the bed, groaning. “Why am I so tired?”

It reminded me of navigating a new culture in a foreign country: Everything was just left of normal, the cumulative effect being utter exhaustion.

When we’re working with kids at home, how do we prioritize and juggle and soothe? And at the end of the day, how do we arrive at dinner with more than a tight smile and smudges beneath our eyes?

Working with kids at home: What do you expect?

May I suggest this without either of us sighing?

Expect less.

COVID-19, and working with kids at home, are eating a larger slice of your pie than you’d think. Sure, some norms might be easier: less laundry, because hey, some of you are (re-)wearing PJ’s all day. Soccer and jazz and the gym got nixed along with everything else. Social expectations hum at a minimum.

But there are stressful trips to the grocery store. And cooped up kids with gnarly attitudes (and a gnarly parent to match). Crusted cereal bowls sprouting around the house like dandelions.

And, as I saw in a meme with Dolly Parton, when we’re working with kids at home, we’re working 9-5. Or is that 9-9:05, 9:07-9:12, 9:18-9:21…?

If you’re working from home and expectations for your efficiency and productivity haven’t changed a lick, maybe it’s time for a chat with your boss. Or maybe it’s time to disappoint a bit. Or maybe you’re the one holding yourself to such unrealistic standards and it’s time to give yourself a bye so that your family receives more than the charred version of you.

Superman never worked with kids at home

I get it. No one wants to jeopardize a job with 46 million Americans furloughed or reduced in hours.

But the solution is not to therefore exist as a boundary-less superhuman. A wise man once said each day has enough trouble of its own (hint: It’s Jesus; see Matthew 6:34). We’ve all found it true that when we bust our humps to get a little more work done, it typically just pries open time for more work.

But Psalm 127:2 reminds me, “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” Rest is a gift from God.

He established a Sabbath for His people to remind them He brought them out of Egypt: They were no longer slaves; no longer someone else’s machines (Deuteronomy 5:12-15). God Himself didn’t rest because He needed or deserved it.

And truthfully, when I’m rested, I love better. I play with my kids more; we read Prince Caspian or make cookies. And I listen to them more rather than nodding and making the right noises.

Do I trust He’ll give me what I need to accomplish whatever He asks of me each day? Or am I driven by something other than His voice and priorities (Acts 4:19)? By something other than the good works He’s prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10)?

I’ve had to ask myself, Is it God’s will for me to be constantly burned out, even for all these things I think He wants me to do? Do I really think Jesus was the most burned-out guy on the planet?

No. No, I don’t. God has set healthy rhythms for my body, my home.

MORE HELP NAVIGATING THIS NEW COVID-19 NORMAL

Prioritize peace

Sometimes, like a farmer in harvest, we must stretch those rhythms for a season.

But when that becomes the norm, I’m straining against the Creator’s design. I can’t ignore the signs of my body and mind forever, imagining the rules don’t apply to me. (Today, my fifth grader sacked out for an hour and a half on the couch during his lunch break. I didn’t wake him.)

Everyone in my home needs good nutrition. Exercise. Leisure. Structure. Sabbath.

For me, planning for peace looks like:

• Rising before the kids—not so early I feel like I’m only a machine, but early enough to get some exercise, spend time in prayer.

• Getting enough sleep.

• Paying attention to that jittery feeling I get when I’ve been staring at a screen too long.

• Going for a walk when one more fight between kids equals one mom blowing her top.

• Helping kids set and maintain a schedule that works for individual energy levels, capacities, personalities. One kid might need a daily bike ride. Another might need virtual social time, or to download the day with you.

• Asking kids to contribute with extra daily chores. 

• Being unavailable. Jumping up like a hot Pop-Tart for every child’s needs can further my kids’ sense of entitlement, and lessen their ability to problem solve and serve others. So I want to maximize this opportunity to train my kids in further self-sufficiency.

• Taking time to hash out conflict. If we can truly forgive, it’s great to overlook the little things (Proverbs 19:11). But those big conflicts may need an intentional sit-down, where we admit the mutual logs in our eyes (Matthew 7:4), ask forgiveness, and grow in character.

Hunt for joy

Celebrate the little wins, the big gifts. For example: health for your family, enough food, employment. Relative justice in your nation, whereas so much of the developing world experiences oppression when resources are scarce and fear is abundant. A sunny day. A TV show that helped your brain reboot. And finishing the last call of the day.

High-five your spouse or your kids about the things going right—because there’s so much to be thankful for right now.

Studies find such similarities in the human brain between happiness and gratitude, they’re nearly indistinguishable. How could gratitude turn your family’s focus upward, outward?

Poet Mary Oliver once wrote,

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

What gifts could God be giving?

My husband and I will never have this time with our teenager again. Because the window of his time at home closes in two years, pinching my heart beneath it. As I type, two of my kids are out on a run together. Another pair had a Lego-building competition between themselves yesterday. My husband keeps playing football or soccer with the kids after work or nabbing a child for a drive-thru lunch to enjoy outside.

And last night our family clustered around the table laughing about which of us would be which Disney character. We weren’t rushing to someone’s practice; no one arrived home late.

Could a bit of non-activity, a bit of “fasting” from odd things, bring our families and communities a bit closer to where we belong? Could a lack of security cause my heart to bloom more openly toward God?

We’re working with kids at home. What great things could happen?

Three Ways to Take the Stress out of Homeschooling Your Kids

* The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.

The recession in 2008 was stressful for my family, but you know what didn’t happen?

The recession didn’t say to me: “Guess what? In addition to losing your job and most of the value of your house, you also have to homeschool your kids. That’s right, starting today, you’re a teacher. Good luck with all of that!”

That’s what’s unique about this season. It’s been like a snowball rolling down hill gathering up parts of our lives. It started so slowly with “wash your hands more often” and then picked up speed. It grabbed up your job. It closed your favorite restaurant and then it turned you into a homeschooler.

That last one was a real curveball. But fear not, I have three things you can do today to reduce the stress of homeschooling.

1. Remember you’re not supposed to be good at it.

You know why homeschooling seems hard and awkward? Because doing new things always is.

You know why you don’t feel like an expert? Because you’re not an expert.

You know why you keep making mistakes and arguing with your kids? Because you’ve never done this before.

You should suck at homeschooling. It’s hard to understand that when you’ve got elementary school students, and you still think you can wing Social Studies, but this principle becomes real clear when you’ve got high-schoolers.

I know I can’t help my oldest daughter with Algebra 2. There’s no part of me that’s surprised I’m not good at that. “Alright, let’s see. Something I haven’t thought about in 30 years. How do you even turn on this graphing calculator?”

Stop beating yourself up. You can get better over time, but you’re not supposed to be instantly amazing at homeschooling.

2. Stop looking at other parents online.

Part of the reason you think you should be amazing at homeschooling is that it often seems like every other parent is. You’ve got these moms out here on Instagram who make it look so easy.

“We ran out of paper but we decided it would be more fun to make it ourselves anyway. So, we shaved a tree down and made organic paper.”
“My son Arlo spent the morning learning Mandarin. I think this afternoon my toddler, Beatrix, is going to focus on calculus.”

That’s not how it is at the Acuff house. Every few days, I ask my kids to read a word on a street sign to make sure they aren’t already illiterate. “How many fingers am I still holding up? Eight? Good. You still know your numbers.”

Stop looking at perfect parents online. It’s not helping.

3. Build a bridge, not a school.

This isn’t forever. This is just a bridge between the grade they are in and the grade they are going into. There are thousands and thousands of teachers around the world who are so excited to recap what your kid didn’t get to learn this spring next fall.

They’re working so hard to get ready. There’s not a teacher on the planet who is going to say on the first day of school this fall, “I assume everyone had a normal spring and is completely caught up on everything? Good, because we will not be doing a review of anything from last year.”

Unless you decide to permanently homeschool your kids, this is temporary. You’re not opening up a new charter school in your kitchen. You’re building the best bridge between this spring and next fall. That’s all. Take the pressure off.

Homeschooling isn’t easy. I have the utmost respect for parents who are great at it.

Teaching kids isn’t easy. I have the utmost respect for teachers who are great at it.

Don’t let stress win the day.

Keep these three things in mind:

1. Remember you’re not supposed to be good at it.
2. Stop looking at other parents online.
3. Build a bridge not a school.

Lessons I’ve Learned While Quarantining with Preschoolers

* The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.

Crisis is not new. Every family finds themselves navigating a season of crisis at some point. It might be job loss, diagnosis of an illness, or the classic potty vs. Pull Up battle with the three-year-old.

What is new (at least in recent history) is every family navigating a season of crisis at the same time. As I write this, everyone I know is dealing with their own personal crisis… at the same time as us . . . in the midst of a global crisis . . . and no one is allowed to give a hug or hold a hand. It is, quite literally, mind-boggling.

So much has been written about families in crisis but most of it includes leaning on your support system. Most of it is dependent on being surrounded by people who are not in crisis. Most of it assumes you can sit with a friend and maybe accept a meal or an offer to babysit from someone outside your nuclear family.

Turns out most of it is inapplicable in the middle of a pandemic.

As the mother of two preschool boys, I’m making this up as I go, just like you are. But there are a few things I’ve learned in the past six weeks. Maybe together we can start writing that How To Survive a Pandemic with Preschoolers cheat sheet. I’ll start:

How to Survive a Pandemic with Preschoolers

1. What used to be lunch-with-friends money is now Lego money. And I’m not mad about it at all. Turns out I will happily spend my designated “personal cash” on Legos. Because what I’m really buying is 30 minutes of peace and quiet.

2. It is impossible to clean a house while four people, including two small boys, are living in it 24/7. There’s no point in spending your quarantine time attempting the impossible.

3. Quarantine is not the time to expand the palate of a preschooler — no matter how sick you are of cooking the five things your family will actually eat.

4. Your family is only as strong as the weakest link. Our three-year-old still likes to prostrate himself on the floor in public places and then suck on his fingers, so we are not going anywhere public as a family for a long, long time.

5. Limiting screen time for a preschooler is a losing battle when you yourself are on screens attempting to make a living and communicate with the outside world most of the day.

6. If you can actually get the crew dressed (shoes and jackets over PJs totally counts) and outside for a while, life will be better for everyone (especially if there is a pond/creek/lake in which to hurl rocks. All the rocks.)

7. A few intentional minutes of stillness and quiet at the beginning (maybe when you used to be rushing everyone through that dreaded morning routine?) and end of your day make a world of difference in your family’s time together.

8. Without regular life distractions, my boys, despite their vast differences in personality (and the inevitable battles), are becoming friends.

As you already knew, parenting preschoolers is exhausting.

Now add the fact that your brain has been in constant fight-or-flight crisis mode for about two months.

Combine the two, and there will be moments … days … weeks when you find yourself swinging at the end of your proverbial rope.

But there is hope.

In your exhaustion, God desires to parent you. And he desires to parent through you. He designed you as the uniquely perfect parent for your unique child at this unique point in history.

When you have no resources left, he promises fresh grace. New life. I love this raw declaration from the author of Lamentations 3:22-23.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

We are not consumed.

We may feel wrung out, burnt out, dried up – but God will not fail to revive and refresh. He will not leave us stranded.

I need this reminder.

When we all come out on the other side of this, life will look different.

Our families will look different.
Don’t be afraid to embrace the raw, difficult nature of this season—and allow God to shape your weariness into something brand-new.

Five Ways Parents Can Stay Sane During the Corona-Crisis

* The following article was copied from www.rootedministry.com.

In the Corona-Crisis, many parents have encountered the most challenging season of their parenting lives. The economic and healthcare uncertainties have created fear. Normal sources of childcare, like school and daycare, have gone away, leaving parents scrambling to find a way to work and care for their children. Everyone’s schedule has been dismantled. Furthermore, by proper rule, people must distance themselves from others, creating a great deal of loneliness. 

The confluence of stress, disorder, isolation, and fear creates a potentially dangerous cocktail of misery and depression. A miserable, anxious parent can lose their temper and sanity quickly at home. In talking to parents and walking through this crisis myself, here are a few recommendations for maintaining your sanity during this challenging time. 

(1) Spend time with Christ each morning. 

The make-or-break factor in my sanity during this crisis has been whether or not I spend time with Christ each morning. If I read my Bible and spend time in prayer, I have more perspective, have more hope and joy, and am more patient with my kids. If I don’t, I get overwhelmed and depressed by the state of the world and become aloof and grouchy toward my family. I think this may be the most important season of my life for spending time with Christ. I recommend doing whatever it takes to find the 15-30 minutes for a devotional each day. 

(2) Stay connected with your people. 

The quarantine situation has been alienating for everyone. The isolation intensifies much of our despair and anxiety. Isolation is antithetical to the life God designed for us. God made men and women to be in communion with God and each other. The base consequence of sin is alienation from God and others; the end of the gospel is Christ restoring communion between God and man, and people to people.

Since most of us cannot gather in person with friends, we have to rely on technology. It’s not ideal but it’s better than nothing. I have two groups of friends who do a daily check in via text. This check in involves sharing how we are feeling – good or bad – and how our relationships are going within our families. We pledge to pray for one another. My wife has friend groups that are sharing frequently through the Marco Polo app. Whatever your technical means, I would recommend making an explicit aim to check in regularly, perhaps even daily, with redemptive friends. 

(3) Stay connected with your church. 

Nothing can replace the richness of face-to-face gathering for worship and study of the word. Although the restrictions of the quarantine present challenges, we cannot just mail in church community until we can again gather in person. If you have a mentor, or you personally disciple someone, then keep that appointment over the phone. If you have a weekly small group, then gather via videoconference like Zoom or Skype. If your church offers a live stream or video for worship, then print out the worship bulletin and participate every week. We were meant to follow Jesus together. 

(4) Observe some semblance of a schedule. 

God made the world in six days and established a sabbath for every seventh day. The Lord called Israel to observe various festivals each year at certain times. He established rituals for worship and sacrifice in the temple. Thus, we can see that God values routine. 

Staying on schedule is grueling during normal times. Still, with so many of the items in our normal lives canceled, we can feel that rhythm missing. Adopting a daily routine and schedule and then basically adhering to it will help kids and parents alike stay sane. 

One caveat: we have to give ourselves a lot of grace and not become rigid and draconian about a schedule with our kids. Let the schedule help you; don’t let it own you. Make that schedule but hold it loosely. 

(5) Get outside. 

Nobody seems to be struggling with this practice but it’s worth repeating: get outside to play or exercise. One family I know who is thriving during the quarantine has maintained a practice of a one-hour family walk in the morning. 

Being outside exposes us to God’s creation and provides a glimpse of His glory. We need such signs often during dark times such as these. 

Ultimately, strict adherence to these rules will not grant you sanity. These practices are meant to promote connection between God, our neighbors, and creation. Sanity is found via intimate fellowship, and particularly in close relationship with God. 

Dads: How to Make the Most of the Coronavirus

* The following article was copied from www.youthministry360.com.

There are some harsh realities of the world we find ourselves in. Coronavirus has dramatically transformed our cultural landscape. But if we are looking for a silver lining to the social distancing and the quarantines, it's that many of us are finding that we're slowing down and spending more time with our families.

CORONAVIRUS HAS DRAMATICALLY TRANSFORMED OUR CULTURAL LANDSCAPE.

In light of this, I found myself wondering how we can make the best of this time. Dads, how many times have you said, "I wish I knew when I was young the things I know now"? I know I've thought that very thing. Well, this pandemic has allowed you some unforeseen time with your children to make sure they never have to make that statement! 

You know one of the best ways to make sure a young person knows now what you know is for you to teach them what you have learned! And what better time to teach them than now.

Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." If you're like me, there have been times where you to correct your children in a way that exasperates them and provokes them to anger. Why? Because this kind of parenting doesn't require time and effort. But bringing them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord takes self-control, knowledge of Scripture, and intentionality. 

Have you ever received any instruction that you could follow that didn't require time to be understood clearly? So this pandemic has forced us to slow down and has given us unexpected time to disciple our children. Don't waste it! 

No one can replace you in the lives of your children. The influence you have on your children cannot be replicated by anyone else, so I want to challenge you to use it correctly. 

As you think about making the most of this coronavirus "slow down," remember these things:

You do not have to be a biblical scholar. 

There are some great devotionals that you can use to teach your children. There are limitless online resources. You don't have to prepare a 30-minute Bible study lesson. Keep it short, but make sure it has some depth. Children don't have long attention spans, but they can handle depth and truth. If you don't know where to start, start somewhere: share a favorite with them and discuss why you like it. 

Let them ask questions. 

Don't be concerned if you don't have the answer right away. Find the answer in Scripture together. You can search the Bible for any topic. You find out so much about where your child is spiritually by listening.

Don't use the excuse of your past life. 

Satan loves this trick! You are parenting from the perspective of who you are in Christ today, not who you once were. God is a perfect father, and that's who you ultimately want them to serve.

Pray over your children. 

Dad, please take this time to lay hands on your children and let them hear you pray over them. They will never forget the power of their father's prayers.
Be thankful, men, that God loves our children and us enough that He has allowed a time like this to slow down our busy lives enough for us to remember our most important job of spiritually leading our homes. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15b

Then when your children are adults, they won't have to say that they wish they knew what they know now when they were young. They will get that wisdom while they are young because their Dad took the time to teach them. 

Pandemic Parenting: Starting New with Your Teenager and Young Adult Kids

* The following article was copied from www.fulleryouthinstitute.org.

Staying at home and social distancing has become the new norm. Parents, along with their teenagers and young adults, are settling in for long-term, life-together existences. I’m one of those parents, and I want to remind myself and anyone who’s willing to join me to make this current reality more than only “enduring” or “surviving.” This shift can be an opportunity to start new habits that could transform our lives and relationships. Here’s what I’m committing to, and I’d love your support and company.

I’m cultivating new relationships.

Yep, that’s right. We are now in a season that brings new relational territory with my older, growing kids. We’re well beyond the familiar “holiday break” existence and are now re-learning how to live together. I’m trying to treat this as a season for new relationships to bloom. This requires an intentional shift in my mindset, or I’ll default to familiar patterns.

Here’s what we’re trying:

• We have decided to dedicate one night each week when we meet all together to talk about our lives, pray for the world, and check in on how we are each doing. Our daughter and son-in-law who live out of state are joining us via video. Even though we’re living in close proximity, we want to ensure we’re still growing relationally.

• Beyond our scheduled connection, my wife and daughter have decided to read a book together.

• The young adults and I have agreed to take turns daily sharing favorite music recommendations.

A new relationship outlook can broaden our connection points and expand our own lives.

I’m committing to new language.

I’ll be honest, I’m already a bit tired of the social media posts where parents poke fun at their kids. It’s all in good jest, but I know well enough that these seemingly light-hearted commentaries can downward-spiral into biting sarcasm. I don’t want to perpetuate a sarcastic climate in our already close quarters.

This means:

• Asking questions before jumping to conclusions.

• Assuming the best rather than expecting the worst.

• Communicating rather than cloaking my feelings.

• Empathizing rather than demanding my way.

Likely this will mean me apologizing a lot more—I have already had to do this. It may mean learning to talk about new topics or working through old patterns that trigger me. And it will certainly mean I resist taking out my frustrations on my kids or expressing them on social media. The relational environment we create is seeded with the language we plant. I want to contribute to a positive home climate through life-giving words.

I’m working on new authenticity.

As we are all in close proximity, our kids will see the best and worst in us. In less relationally-saturated contexts, I can curate my image. Not now.

I’ll be honest, I don’t want anyone to see me at my worst moments. Yet, I also think this season is an opportunity for our growing kids to see that we’re human and, even more, hear us admit our limitations. When I reveal my rough edges, let my best self show up, or admit my anxious moments, I level the relational playing field and create new opportunities for connection.  Perhaps one of the best ways we can connect with our kids is through our shared humanity. This will lead to both embarrassing and beautiful moments that can bring us closer together.

One of the ways we’re cultivating authenticity is to regularly check in with each other. Over dinner together we ask each other these questions:

• On a scale of 1 (the worst) to 10 (the best), how would you rate your day? (We also say 5’s are not allowed!)

• If you could do something to make your day one point better what might it be?

This simple engagement challenges all of us to reveal how we’re doing and to share why we might be encouraged, frustrated, worried, excited, or disappointed. It also enriches our life together and sets new relational patterns that will last beyond quarantine. 

Let’s view our new reality with new perspectives. I’ve often talked with parents who wished they could slow down or have another chance to reconnect with their kids. Now’s our opportunity to grow with our kids by trying new approaches for new relational connections. I’m in. I hope you are too.

What helpful habits and practices are you forming as your family moves from enduring isolation to thriving in it?

3 Ways to Help Your Kids Adjust to the New “Normal”

* The following article was copied from www.blog.youversion.com.

If you’re like many parents we know, day by day, you’re trying to handle meals, figure out school, and manage your kids’ boredom—all while worrying about your job and your future. We want you to know: We’re here for you.Regardless of your children’s ages, it’s likely they have a lot of questions about everything happening. Almost overnight, all the daily routines that they relied on for stability changed. One of the best things we can do for them right now is to establish a new “normal.”Here are 3 things you can try at different times throughout the day to help your kids adjust:

1. Ask your kids what they’re thinking about. Then listen.

Even if they say difficult or troubling things, try not to show alarm on your face. Your kids need a safe space to talk, and the opportunity to fully express their thoughts and feelings in their own words.

2. Be the example you want to see in your house.

Take care of yourself spiritually during this time, so that you’ll be able to give your kids the emotional support they need. Here’s where you can find some peace and encouragement for you:Resources

3. Pray with your kids, on a schedule.

Praying is just having a conversation with God, telling Him what you’re thinking and feeling, asking for things you need, and thanking Him (even for small victories). You can pray anytime, but doing it together in the morning, at mealtimes, and at bedtimes is an easy way to build some routine into each day. Here’s a simple example:

Dear Jesus, thank You for our family. Help us to love each other, take care of each other, and be kind. Please show us how we can love our neighbors and our friends. Thank You. Amen.

Bonus: Clearly define your days.

If your kids have been used to a weekly schedule—with you at work and them at school or daycare—the days may start blurring together when everyone’s home. Giving each day of the week its own theme can help you build a rhythm, a sense of structure. Here are a few examples:Taco Tuesday – Don’t have taco ingredients? Make sandwiches, taco style, folded in half.Wacky Wednesday – Wear socks that don’t match. Type “recipe” into Google, with a list of whatever random ingredients you have, and make that together.Funny Friday – Play together. Be silly. Make jokes. Watch a funny movie or TV show. Make Friday night Family Game Night.Special Sunday – Worship God together. Find a church service online. (Many churches are putting their children’s programming online right now.)

5 Things Teenagers Need to Know About God During the Coronavirus Crisis

* The following article was copied from www.youthministry360.com.

Do you find yourself feeling like you're stuck in one of those post-apocalyptic zombie movies? Yeah. Me too. I was talking to a youth pastor friend this weekend, and our conversation went like this:

MY FRIEND: Do you remember that movie "I Am Legend"?

ME: Yes. 

MY FRIEND: Doesn't this coronavirus stuff kind of remind you of that movie? 

ME: [Giving him the side-eye] Yeah, don't use that in a sermon. 

If you've never seen the movie, Will Smith is the last human on earth, the rest of the population having been wiped out by a virus. Smith is a virologist who must now fight an army of nocturnal mutant zombies for survival. Maybe not the best movie analogy these days! Hahaha.

I believe deep down, many of our students struggle to process what's happening around them.

While it's OK (I think) to be lighthearted at times as a coping mechanism, we need to remember that in times of crisis like the one we find ourselves in, our students need to be reassured. They may not act like it. They may put on a chill, unconcerned vibe. But I believe deep down, many of them struggle to process what's happening around them. Especially through the lens of their faith.

Over the centuries, as crises have hit, the Church has turned to what they know to be true about God. We see the roots of this going back to the Israelites in the wilderness. When things got tough, they remembered who God was and how He had been faithful to them in the past. 

I believe this is a meaningful practice for us to engage in, as well. 

So as our teenagers navigate days of quarantine measures and infection counts (who would have ever thought!?), let's help them remember these five core truths about God. 

First, God is in control. 

We know that God is sovereign. What does this mean exactly? This means that God's rule is all-encompassing (there is nowhere He does not rule) and absolute (there is nothing that happens that He is not in control of). About Himself, the Lord says in Isaiah 46:10, "My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose." Psalm 103:19 says, "The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all." In Job 42:2, Job says that God can do all things and that no purpose of His can be thwarted. There is nothing that happens anywhere that God is not in control of. The Coronavirus didn't catch God off guard. If the Coronavirus exists, it's because God has allowed it to exist. 

This may lead to the inevitable question, "If God is in control of all things, why did He allow this to happen"? This is a perfectly logical question and one that doesn't scare God (and shouldn't scare you). The way we process this question leads to the next truth we need to remember about God.

Second, God is good. 

Here's the thing. We can know God. There are attributes or characteristics that God has, just like there are characteristics we have. The only difference with God is that He is perfect in all His attributes. So God is not only gracious, He's perfectly gracious. He's not only just, He's perfectly just. His mercy is perfect. His compassion is perfect. Even His anger is perfect! God is perfectly good. Psalm 119:68 says, "You are good and do good; teach me your statutes." Psalm 145:9 says, "The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made."

Why does this matter? It matters a lot. If God was completely in control of all things but not perfectly good, we would be terrified. You would never know how God would use His power. But God is good. Perfectly good. So we must remind students that His reign, His sovereignty, is good as well. 

We don't know all the reasons why God allows things like Coronavirus to happen. We know that there is evil at work in the world, just as there is good at work. And God allows evil to exist. We don't have a perfect understanding of why that is the case. But one of the reasons why is that God is patient, wanting as many people to come to saving faith in Him before He returns to once and for all triumph over evil (2 Peter 3:9). While we will never know all of the reasons WHY God allows things like this to happen, we can fall back on the truths that He is in control and that He is good. His rule is good. His sovereignty over us and the world is good.

Third, God is constantly at work to bring about good.

We know Romans 8:28: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." While this verse is often misapplied, the truth is an important one for our students: that no matter what the circumstances, God is working through evil to bring about good. It's in His nature. It's what He does. This is how Joseph, who was left for dead by his brothers, could look at them in forgiveness and say, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good." 

When students find themselves overwhelmed and anxious, fearful about the world around them, they can take heart, knowing that God is at work! They may not see it, but they can believe in it. But the cool thing is, once students know this truth, they can begin to LOOK for where God is at work. More importantly, our students can ask the question, "How can God work THROUGH me to bring about good in this time of trial"?

Fourth, God has seen us through this crisis. Already. 

This is a super-deep, kind of wild concept that your students will love. Because God is eternal, and because He is omniscient (all-knowing), God has already seen us through this crisis. This is where if you were texting this, you'd insert the "mind blown" emoji. Lol. Our lives are on a linear timeline. We have a beginning (our birth) and an ending (our death). (Though, how beautiful it is that if you've entered into a saving faith relationship with Jesus, your death begins a new, eternal life with Christ!) We can only see what lies directly in front of us. Our stories only move along one chapter at a time. But not God.

You see, God isn't in our timeline. He's above it. He's outside of it. His existence isn't linear like ours. He doesn't have a beginning and an end. He has always been. And the Bible teaches us that He knows the story of humankind even up to the ending (that's what makes Revelations so cool). When we take all of this mind-blowing truth together, it leads us to understand that God knew Coronavirus was coming, knows how it will go, and has already seen us through the other side of it! How AMAZING is that?

When students are fearful, this truth in itself can comfort them. God goes before us. He has already gone before us through the end of this season of uncertainty. 

Fifth, during this chaos, Jesus holds all things together. 

When things get rough, and our students want to get down, or worried, or scared, there is a powerful truth they can cling to: Jesus holds all things together. Jesus is the force that binds the world together during chaos. He keeps things from spiraling out of control.

In his beautiful picture of Jesus in Colossians 1:15–17, Paul says this: "[15] He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. [16] For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. [17] And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." In Jesus, ALL THINGS HOLD TOGETHER! This truth drives out fear. It gives assurance. It gives confidence. It reminds us that no matter how bad it gets, it can never get so bad that it will fall apart because Jesus is at the center of it all holding it all together. 

Our students need reassuring in times like this. But honestly, maybe we do too. Let these truths help lead you and your students to a place of peace and trust in the Lord.

A Letter to Parents

Hey Parents,

Thank you for the way you’ve reached out and supported what we’re trying to do to stay connected with your kids, students, and families during this season. As a parent of teenagers, I understand the responsibility you feel to take care of your family. I’m so thankful for those of you who’ve reached out (and I know many others) checking on us, offering to help, and supporting us. You’re setting a great example for your kids.

We’ve had conversations with many of you about dealing with your daily family schedule, and ideas that will help your kids and teenagers survive and thrive during this crazy season of life. Here are a few quick thoughts…

1. Give Structure — Your kids have diverse personality types, so their needs are different in times of uncertainty. In our family, less structure is better… normally. But in this season, we’ve added some structure that isn’t normal for us. A little bit of structure when all around them feels strangely unstructured may be just what your kids need.

2. Unplug — Most of us crave information and avoid boredom… That’s a recipe for the over-consumption of technology. Our basic rule during this season is to do MORE CREATING and LESS CONSUMING. Watching Netflix and playing a game isn’t bad. In fact, I might argue that it’s needed. Make sure you’re balancing your media consumption with some sort of creative activity.

3. Relax the Rules — No structure is bad, but too much structure can be just as bad. (I’m not talking about health/safety rules—keep all those!) But in your family order, consider how you can create a less stressful environment by relaxing some of your normal rules.

4. Talk… a Lot — Everything I’ve listed so far came out of a lot of conversations with other parents. Listen… Lean in… Seize moments… Make sure the people you love know you love them, and that they are your priority. And let me remind you that some of your kids need more face-to-face time than others.

This season is redefining “normal” for everyone. Instead of grieving this, celebrate the opportunity to create some new “normals” and rhythms in your own family. What if our story in a few years is: “Remember the coronavirus crisis of 2020? That’s when everything changed in our family, and I’m so thankful.”

We can’t control the outcome of our pandemic response, but we can always control our outlook. Remember James 1:2-4: “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

We love you, and we’re praying for you. Be well…

Speaking Peace in the Storm

* The following article was copied from www.youthministry360.com.

Michael Riggs used to work as a radio disc jockey, and he had a problem. While working at Christian radio station 91.3 WFIX in Florence, Alabama, he had to sometimes give reports on severe weather and tornados while on the air. At times storms were very close to the radio station in Florence. The problem was that Michael had a huge fear of storms.

He recounted his experience from over 20 years ago and told me he prayed and asked God to deliver him from the fear of bad weather, and God did just that. Michael has since left the world of radio for other ventures, but one thing he still does today – he prays against weather-related storms. He will soon be releasing a book he wrote titled, “Praying Against the Storm,” which includes testimonies of the power of God in the face of severe weather storms. 

On that day, when evening had come, Jesus said to the disciples, “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took Jesus with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?” - Mark 4:35-41

Many people have labeled the coronavirus and its impact as a storm we are all going through. You may be freaked out along with others, you know, but as Christians, our guide on how to respond in times like this is very clear – SPEAK PEACE IN THE STORM. The Gospel writer Mark records the story of Jesus facing a storm in the passage above and how He lived out the way His people should respond in turbulent times.

• While everyone else in the boat panicked, Jesus remained calm and even slept through the storm. The way you live out your faith in the days ahead will speak volumes to those around you about your faith in Jesus. This week a lady told me a younger adult asked her how she could be so calm in the midst of all the fear and panic. It opened up a wonderful opportunity for her to share Jesus with the frightened man.

• The first thing the disciples did is accuse Jesus of not caring about the situation they were facing. Maybe you have been asking God where He is during the fear and panic over the coronavirus. The story of Job in the Old Testament teaches us that God never minds questions from honest seekers. So, where is God in all this? He is where He has always been, and that is seated on His throne watching over you and all His creation.

• Jesus asked the disciples why they were so afraid and where was their faith. They had already watched Him heal many people and do great miracles, yet they were scared that Jesus could not handle the storm. Today take a few moments to recall the great things God has done in your life, the difficult times he has brought you through, and even the miracles you have seen him perform. Remember what God has done in the past, and you will be confident he can handle any situation you face.

• Jesus simply said the words PEACE and BE STILL, and the storm stopped. Now you may not be able to speak to the storm of this virus and stop it immediately, but you can speak peace into the storm of fear going on in your life and the lives of others. 

The thing people may remember the most about this current crisis in the years ahead will be the way Christians responded to what went on. You can experience peace and show others the path to peace by SPEAKING PEACE TO THE STORM.

YOUR ACTION PLAN TO HELP SPEAK PEACE TO THE STORM

1)    Fill your soul with some great Christian songs on peace like “Praise You in the Storm” by Casting Crowns, “What Are You Afraid Of" by Kerrie Roberts, “Peace Be Still” by Hope Darst, “Fear Is a Liar” by Zach Williams, “You’ve Always Been” by Unspoken, “Still Rolling Stones” by Lauren Daigle, “Goodness of God” by Bethel Music, “Way Maker” by Leeland, “Faith” by Jordan Feliz, “Your Name is Power” by Rend Collective and “Alive & Breathing” by Matt Maher.

2)    Fill your mind with great Bible passages on peace. Some verses include: Deuteronomy 31:6; Psalm 4:8 ; 23:4, 27:1, 29:11;46:1-3, 56:3; Isaiah 41:10; Jeremiah 32:17; John 14:27; 16:33 ; 20:19; Acts 10:36; Romans 14:17; Galatians 5:22; Philippians 4:7,9; 

and 2 Timothy 1:7.

3)    Pray for God to give you peace and pray for our country’s leaders during this time.

4)    Speak peace and command your fears to BE STILL. 

5)    Look for ways for God to use you to minister and share the Gospel with others during this time when people are looking for a voice of calm and reason.

6)    Expect your faith to be stronger and more mature as God takes you day by day and step by step through these difficult days.

Closer Together

* The following article was copied from www.equipandencourage.com.

Closer Together. That’s our prayer.

Unknowingly a few weeks ago as we saw this strange season approaching, my wife and I both started praying the same thing. We started praying that, through it all, we would grow closer together as a family. In times like these when we are all packed into a confined space for long periods of time, it can sometimes get ugly. It would be easy for us to get frustrated, get on each other’s nerves, and social (and physical) distance ourselves in our home. It would be easy for us to hope to just get through it, to just survive, to just not hurt each other either emotionally (or physically!).

But, we’re hoping and praying that over the next several weeks or months things actually go in the other direction. We’re hoping for something bigger. You see, in this new season, here are a few things that are true for us:

We’re eating dinner together every night, and that’s a good thing.

We’re playing more games together as a family, and that’s a good thing.

We’re getting more rest and sleep than we normally get, and that’s a good thing.

We’re helping each other in different areas of life, and that’s a good thing.

We’re having more conversations about things other than school, practices, or the activities that typically take up moist of our time, and that’s a good thing.

All of these “new temporary normals” have the potential to help us a family build a stronger bond and come out on the other side of this crisis closer than we’ve ever been. That’s what we want, and I would guess that’s what you want too.

As you think about what could happen for you and your family in the midst of this incredibly difficult time, take some time to pray that God would us this current situation to actually bring your family together. Ask him to use the time we have to help us treat each other well, love each other deeply, and truly grow closer together.

Make the Most of This Time

* The following article was copied from www.ministrytoparents.com.

About a month ago, many of us were complaining that we were too busy, that life was moving too quickly, and that we wished we had more time to spend with our families. And now? Well, now we aren’t really sure what to do with all this unscheduled–and forced–family time, courtesy of COVID-19.

None of us saw this coming. We had no idea that our kids’ Little League seasons were going to be nonexistent, that our trips would be canceled, that we wouldn’t be able to attend church services/activities, or that we would be [Gasp!] homeschooling! We didn’t prepare for any of this, and it’s taken many of us a week or two of denial before we got serious about how we are going to adjust and handle this quarantined lifestyle.

Whether we realize it or not, our kids are watching our responses–often taking their thought and behavior cues from us. How are we responding to the daily news and to all this time at home together? Are we scared? Angry? Blaming? Unmotivated? Irritable? Lazy? Or are they seeing a different response in us? Maybe one of faith, peace, self-discipline, joy, praise, or even gratitude? Not gratitude for the Coronavirus but gratitude for the time.

Parents, this is a prime opportunity for us to lead our families! 

We have never experienced a time like this in our lives. And although we hope to see the end of it come sooner rather than later, we can still make this a time that is meaningful for our families. 

Are there things you’ve always wished you had done with your kids? Do it now. Never got in the practice of reading Scripture together or having a family devotion time? This is the perfect time to start. Use this time to build good habits, routines, new traditions. We’ve been told all along not to rely on the church staff to fully disciple our kids; it is our job as parents to disciple them. And now we have an intense time to do so. Start small. Don’t get long-winded or overly ambitious. It doesn’t need to be formal; make it a natural conversation. It’s better to leave them wanting more than to watch them wonder when it’s going to be over.

Be creative with your time together. 

Incorporate games, music, shows/movies, art, house projects, walks around the neighborhood. Look for teachable moments as you go through your days together. Set aside some time together every day where everyone is face-to-face and no one is distracted by a screen. Have real conversations. Listen to each other, support honesty about how everyone is feeling, and pray for each other. Look for ways to encourage each other. Don’t waste endless hours on Netflix; use this time to work on deeper relationships with your family. (Note: I’m not saying never watch Netflix. Just don’t spend the whole day on it. Even better–find something you can all watch together.)

This time of quarantine with our families was quite unexpected, but we can treat it as an unexpected gift by making good use of it. And when we slowly, cautiously reenter the world when this is all over, may we look back on this unusual time with no regrets for how we spent our days.

For more ideas on making the most of all this family time, visit carriebevellpartridge.com.