* The following is a combination of two posts on https://thesimpleadventure.family where our friends Lisa and Phil Bell share lots of great family tips. Follow them for some great parenting and family content.
Here in North Carolina, school is getting ready to start back up in the next couple of weeks. For many of us, online “at home” is the only option we have…
If this your reality too, you might be thinking:
“How on earth can we survive another season of stay at home online school?”
For the past three years our kids have attended a “University Model School.” Essentially, it’s a hybrid. Our kids attend school 2-3 days a week and complete their assignments from home the other days. Because of our experience, we feel it’s prepared us quite well for stay at home online school. In other ways, we feel completely unprepared for this current world…
Barely Surviving Or Learning To Thrive?
If you are wondering how you can survive another season of online school, we’d love to share some ideas, and even reinforce what you might already be doing. Most of all, we hope you will be encouraged to survive and thrive in this upcoming school year.
In two posts, (because there’s so much to share), we will cover ten ways to help you thrive in this season of online school.
Let’s get started!
1. Give Yourself Credit!
You’ve made it this far! Before you do anything else, look back and see all that you have made it through as a family. It might not have been pretty at times, but keep in mind how much you’ve navigated so far.
It’s unprecedented times you are in! You are living in a global pandemic like no other. The last time anything like this happened, it was over one hundred years ago. There’s no playbook for a time like this. Give yourself a high five, take a deep breath, and look back to appreciate how much you have adapted. You’ve come this far.
You. Can. Do. It!
2. Create The Environment.
If you haven’t done this already, ensure that both you and your kids have defined workspaces. They don’t have to be places where you need to close the door, just ensure you have a dedicated workspace that prepares you and the kids to mentally prepare for school and work.
For our family, we’ve discovered that each of our kids has a different need for their environment.
Maybe your child is distracted easily and needs noise-cancelling headphones, while another likes to have music playing in the background. An older child may independently work in his room, while a younger child might need more supervision and quick access to a parent.
Make sure there is enough lighting and that your wi-fi can reach the work areas. Whether it’s sitting at a personal desk, using a lap desk on your couch, or sharing the kitchen table, figure out the best defined workspaces for you and your kids. If you want to get really fancy, check out this post for some great ideas.
3. Create The Routine.
At the beginning of the pandemic some of our kids thought this it was the start of a glorified sleepover with sleep-in times past noon. Other kids thought the lack of structure was the end of the world…
Kids. So dramatic!
In all seriousness, a healthy (and realistic) routine will guide us through each day successfully. Whether our kids know it or not, they thrive better with routine. It’s also helpful to realize how routine will help to prepare them for college and work life one day.
When thinking through a healthy routine, here are some essentials to consider:
Wake up time. Allow them to sleep-in in a little but decide on a set wake up time for kids (and parents!)
Get dressed. (No pajama parties at our house. There’s a lot to be said for the value in getting dressed and psychologically being ready to study).
Breakfast time. (It’s helpful to have a cut-off time or “the kitchen is now closed” time.)
Study time. Create a rhythm in the order of subjects so they know what to expect each day. Have a start and a finish time. Don’t allow procrastinating to bleed into the evening.
Snack breaks. We have a snack bin they can pick from or they are encouraged to eat a piece of fruit.
Outdoor time. During the school day, we try to give our kids 20 minutes of outdoor time in the morning. Physical activity helps the brain to focus and gets the wiggles out. It’s amazing what a bit of fresh air can do.
4. Set Expectations For YOUR Workspace And Workday.
If you are working from home at the same time as your kids, it will become very challenging if you don’t set some clear boundaries.
Having a defined workspace will help your kids know that when you are there, it’s your work time, but they will also need to know when they can interrupt you for help.
Before school starts, have a discussion with your kids about the best way they can get help from you and when it is an appropriate ask. If you are like us, you will likely have to revisit this, communicate again, and even adapt. Just ensure that you are communicating this ahead of time.
Healthy expectations ahead of time will help avoid a great deal of frustrations, but know it won’t eliminate them entirely.
5. Give Rewards!
When we asked our kids about what we could add to this post, our middle child (who is 11) said,
“Give us stickers and rewards!”
It’s a small thing, but we’ve created a simple system of rewards for our kids when they get things done. We’ve adapted these over the years based on their interests and age. Some of the rewards include:
Stickers, stamps, pencils for a job well-done
A family outing or movie night that they collaboratively work towards
A star chart to reach an individual goal/reward. This works well for chores too.
Personalized reward coupons. There are many free printable ones online.
6. Make The Most Of Your Flexible Schedule
While it’s a challenging time, it’s good to find ways to take advantage of the benefits of an online schedule. For us, it’s been possible to take quick family outings on days when the online load has been lower, when the kids have doubled-up on other days, or when we have been able to move work to a weekend day.
We’ve taken day trips hiking and to the beach. (Technically, I think we played “hooky” the beach day, but don’t tell anyone.)
If you are able to buy some time away and suddenly announce a beach trip or a family picnic, it makes everything feel more like an adventure.
Search for these opportunities as much as you can and you’ll discover that the “pits” of the pandemic can become “peaks” and defining moments for your family. (For more on creating Defining Moments, you’ve got to check out this book – affiliate link)
7. Make Learning Fun!
The day in and day out monotony of life can wear on us all. Try adding some variety and excitement into the school day from time to time, while taking advantage of opportunities to reinforce what they are learning in school. Here are a few ways we try to do this:
Print off some fun worksheets or buy a puzzle activity book to stimulate the mind. It can be as simple as a word search, coloring page, or maze. Our elementary-age children look forward to doing a “fun sheet” at the end of their school day.
Reinforce learning concepts in a fun, practical way. Is your child learning fractions? Encourage him to help you bake and point out the fractions in the measuring cups. Better yet, have your child double to recipe and write it out beforehand. Is he learning about money? Have him play store and use real money to count out change.
Encourage creativity in the form of an arts-and-crafts project. Consider the many holiday and seasonal crafts that are a rite of passage (Thanksgiving turkeys, snowflakes, etc.) Try doing a simple search online with words like “crafts,” “simple,” “free,” or “printable” and take advantage of someone else’s work. Make sure you stock up on craft supplies. One can never have enough glue sticks.
No time to print-off anything? Make a tedious activity (like times tables) into a race. Have a dance break. Let them build a fort and eat lunch in it. It doesn’t have to be complicated or pre-meditated, just fun!
8. Incorporate Life Skills!
Now is the perfect time to set your children up for a more successful future as responsible adults.
Take advantage of having time at home to teach your children practical life skills like doing the laundry, planning and cooking a meal, washing dishes, emptying trash cans, or taking care of the yard. Even preschoolers are able to help put away their own clothes or clean doorknobs.
It might mean doing some jobs a little slower and messier as they get the hang of it, but in the long run, you’ll not only be teaching your children valuable life skills, you’ll also be saving yourself some time.
What would it look like if your high schooler took over planning and making a meal each week? What if your children were able to independently do their own laundry? Start earning back some time before life speeds up again.
9. Be Quiet!
Now, you might be thinking we are talking about getting your kids to shut their mouths, (a complete impossibility in the Bell House), but I am actually referring to you! Your ability to survive and even thrive the online school business will depend greatly on how much time you take for yourself to be quiet, reflect, and replenish. This is probably the most important piece of advice I can give you.
If you are constantly giving out as a parent, it’s imperative that you take time to fill your tank. As you plan the back to school routine, don’t miss scheduling in a DAILY time to be quiet.
Maybe it’s a 20 minute walk, a half-hour of uninterrupted reading time, or a long soak in the tub. Don’t feel guilty and don’t short-change yourself. You need it and your family needs you take time for yourself too.
10. Reach Out.
If there’s one thing we’ve been learning in this time is that we are not alone. There are no experts out there, just people like us trying to figure things out.
The problem is, we still live in our perfect picture posting Instagram lives and it’s easy to think that we are the only ones making a mess of things.
The truth is, we are all struggling in different ways, but we are also finding some incredibly innovative ways to thrive as well.
Take a step today and reach out to other parents and ask what they are doing. Ask them how they are really doing. You’ll find some great solutions and you’ll also discover you are not alone in your struggles. Be an encourager as you are encouraged.
And if you feel compelled, please share this post with them! We’d love to encourage them too!
Finally, here’s one final and brutally honest piece of advice.
Embrace the mess and focus on creating moments with your kids. If your house is anything like ours, it’s chaos! That’s normal. Embrace normal…
Finally, we know that for many of us, online school is going to be challenging. Give yourself (and your kids) some grace, and take one step at a time. With some healthy structure, and a good plan, you will be amazed at how you do.
Lisa and Phil