During our daddy-Daughter week we decided to get some wisdom from a dad of daughters. IN episode 45 we hear from Taylor Swander about a few things you can do as the dad of daughters to build and keep a deeper connection Taylor has some great ideas as a dad as well as insight from what he sees in his role in student ministry at PC3. Share this episode with any dad you know with daughters!
* The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.
Raising a daughter is one of the scariest endeavors I’ve ever faced. Once we got past the toddler phase with our son, I had a fairly good idea of what to do; we played catch, we talked about sports and we laughed at body noises. I made my share of mistakes raising our son, but I was at least on familiar ground.
When our daughter came along, that completely changed. We also played catch, talked about sports and laughed at body noises, at least when she was young, but there were so many more layers to our relationship. When my son did something dumb I could just say: “Dude, don’t ever do that again. Got it?” and it was settled. With my daughter, that simple sentence led to incredible levels of angst and emotion. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter, but there were so many things I didn’t understand, and I know I baffled her as well.
My daughter is grown now and living on her own. We have a great relationship, but I often wish I could go back and try again to be a better father. There are so many things I wish she understood about how I felt as her dad, but I didn’t have the words. I can’t go back, but I can pass on a few things I know most dads wish their daughters knew about them.
My daughter is a beautiful young woman living halfway across the country. She has an apartment, a career, and a boyfriend. But to me, she is still that talented little girl rollerblading in our driveway. Even though she is all grown up and capable of taking care of herself, she is still daddy’s little girl. But that perspective can inadvertently present itself as not seeing her for the talented adult that she is. In my words and actions, I need to remind myself (and her) that I am proud of the capable adult she is becoming.
Read more: Secrets for Dads from a Daughter
Every healthy father has a deep desire to protect his little girl from harm. It’s not because he doesn’t think she can take care of herself, or that he thinks girls are less capable than boys. When dads insist on more background checks than the CIA on a potential boyfriend, he is simply responding to the ingrained need to protect his daughter from harm. Our daughters think it’s a pain, but it’s what we do. It’s in our job description. As dads, we need to remind ourselves that this can look like we trust our sons more, or that girls can’t manage themselves. It can help to talk to our daughters about our dad instincts within the context of how much we cherish them.
When my daughter was young, we talked all the time. We talked about sports and music and Spongebob Squarepants. As she moved into the teen years, however, it became harder and harder to find common ground. Eventually, she felt like I was prying and snooping more than just trying to talk. While there was some snooping going on (see the point above), mostly I just wanted to know what she liked, what she cared about, and what she thought. It means the world to a dad when he gets a peek into his daughter’s world. I have found that asking open-ended questions about her likes, dislikes, and inviting her to share her feelings about them—versus asking what she is doing and why—opens that window without putting her on the defensive.
I am sure dads seem completely clueless to their daughters, and often it’s because they are. Girls process experiences through a completely different lens than boys, so dads often have no map for the world of emotions. We aren’t being insensitive or uncaring, we honestly have no idea what our daughters are feeling. Expecting a dad to intuitively know how they feel is like asking a blind man to understand color. Dad wants to understand, but he needs help. Here’s where opening your eyes and ears (while keeping your mouth mostly shut) can be helpful. Notice her body language and the look on her face while she is talking. Be honest and tell her when you don’t understand, and invite her to help you get there. Don’t feel like you have to fix whatever is wrong even though you will desperately want to.
A dad thinks all the time about what his daughter’s life will be like when she leaves the house. He worries that the decisions made now will have a negative impact down the road. He knows that the wrong friends, the wrong activities and the wrong experiences can have consequences for the rest of their life. He doesn’t mean to ruin his daughter’s life now, but he wants her future to be amazing. But this can come across as, “Dad never wants me to have fun.” So invite your daughter to share what she’s dreaming about for her life, try to suspend judgement, and listen. Look her right in the eye, and tell her she’s beautiful and talented and the daughter you’ve always dreamed of.
Things to Consider
Have you taken the time to tell your daughter how you feel about her? For some dads, this much emotion can feel uncomfortable and you might struggle with the right words. Consider writing your daughter a letter or a note that she can keep for years to come.
Consider sharing one or more of the points above with your daughter that especially rings true with you. Helping her to understand your role as her dad can open up great conversation.
* The following article was copied from www.allprodad.com.
When birthdays and Christmas roll around, my wife is much better than I am at getting meaningful gifts for our daughters. Why? Because she’s better informed about their hearts and their dreams than I often am. And she’s so good at translating that information into gifts that reflect an intimate knowledge of each of our daughters. But what a daughter needs from her dad is different.
Daughters need more than just “perfect” birthday and Christmas gifts. Year-round, they want evidence of their dad’s presence and love. Using my knowledge of them, like the knowledge my wife uses to find treasured presents for them, I can give my girls what they need—3 things every daughter needs from her dad.
“Our daughters notice when we don’t notice them.”
Our daughters notice when we don’t notice them. Just being with them (or more accurately, “near them”) isn’t enough. If we are not engaging in eye-to-eye contact and noticing them in the regular and the spectacular moments of life, they will feel increasingly unimportant to you. They’ll feel lost in the background. They notice when we’re not listening. For our daughters, being seen and known is part of being cherished.
This is more than just telling her you believe in her. We need to put our words into action. We need to show our young girls that we believe enough in their raw talent that we are willing to make sacrifices so they can grow and that we are willing to invest in the tools that’ll make that possible. That is how we show our belief in our daughters. That is the evidence they need to be certain of this.
Your daughter isn’t always going to feel lovable and awesome. I have been learning through the years to balance adding fuel to the fires of my daughters’ dreams with reinforcing my unconditional love and acceptance of them just as they are today. If she exasperates me, if she ignores me, if she pushes against my values or rules or hard-earned life wisdom, I reassure her, every day if I can, that I still accept her unconditionally, just as she is.
Earn some points: Are you married? Help your wife’s relationship with your daughter by sharing this iMOM article with your wife: 5 Ways to Build a Strong Mom-Daughter Bond.
* The following article was copied from www.allprodad.com.
I have a much easier time noticing the bad than recognizing the good. It’s also important to me to keep things clean. So even when our kids have spruced up part of the house, it’s still a whole lot easier for me to focus on the other areas that are still undone than to focus on the positive, to praise the good work that’s already been done.
I look more often for reasons to be critical than I look for reasons to praise. However, I’m learning that while my criticisms can be deflating to my family, my praise can be edifying and motivating. I’m constantly reminded of the power of praise. A proverb says “death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Our words matter and we will eat the fruit of them. Here are three of the fruits of praise.
Every day, we can infuse life into our families through words of affirmation or we can take life away and crush their spirits through unnecessary words of criticism. Our words have tremendous power. When I intentionally praise my kids, they smile instantly. Why wouldn’t I want to build my family up with my words? One of the best places to do this is during the pride exercise at our All Pro Dad Chapter meetings. 2. Praise is positive.
Our families face enough negative in the world around us on a daily basis. To receive praise in the home is sweet and refreshing. If we focus on the positive and praise it, our kids know we are on their side and that we are proud of them. Praise reminds our children that “home is where I want to be, and where I belong.” A praise-filled home is a positive place, where I am loved for who I am, not judged for who I am.
“When we acknowledge that we’ve seen what we want to see, we’ll start to see more of it.”
In any area of life, you always get more of what you affirm. When my children know I’m proud of them and I go out of my way to praise them for a behavior, they’re motivated to do more of the same. One of our children especially desires to be praised and when we praise him, he is motivated to please us even more. I love the principle “say what you want to see.”When we acknowledge that we’ve seen what we want to see, we’ll start to see more of it.
* The following article was copied from www.allprodad.com.
In 1938, as Europe hurtled toward another world war, Britain’s prime minister, Neville Chamberlain, signed the Munich Agreement. Chamberlain remembered World War One only too well, and he desperately wanted things to be different. He waved his little piece of paper at the airport, and he declared he had secured, “Peace in our time.”
But in avoiding conflict at any cost, the prime minister made a move than virtually guaranteed a more devastating confrontation in the future. Chamberlain did not understand that a peace that counts is anything but passive; he didn’t grasp the truth that active peace brings something intentional to the table, he didn’t remember that real peace has nothing to do with fear.
Likewise, it’s too easy for families to dodge conflict, shut down communication, secure “a little peace and quiet,” and cost themselves the opportunity for coming together. Peace is not a negative value; it’s not the absence of anything. No, it turns out to be a lot more proactive than that.
Research demonstrates that a positive attitude reduces stress. And we all know reduced parental stress lowers tension in the home. So do yourself a favor, Dad. Turn off the talk radio, park the car, take a deep breath, and bring a smile into the kitchen.
Patience is a decision. Here’s the equation: listen, absorb, clarify, reflect, respond. Peace is more probable when we take the time not to react.
Again, it is a decision. Random acts of kindness are okay, but we recommend deliberate, applied, unrestrained kindness.
We’re not talking about money here, but about generosity in relationships—giving the benefit of the doubt, preemptive love strikes, and giving forgiveness.
A lot of discord comes out of uncertainty. As a dad, you can eliminate a lot of uncertainty by being so resolutely and predictably faithful in all the ways that count. Be the husband mom can count on, the dad the kids feel safe with, the powerfully positive presence that carries certainty and peace in its wake.
* The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.
When we hear the word courage, we often think of these grandiose moments of bravery. Experiences like leaping off a high-dive, trying out for an ultra-competitive team, or taking your first step off a zip-line seem like the most appropriate ways for us to help our kids to understand courage.
But what if courage is more ordinary than that? What if courage is an idea that shows up in the everyday as we interact with friends and family, go to school, and navigate the world of extra-curricular activities?
Read anything on Generation Z, and you’ll find that stress and anxiety are hallmarks of these kids and teenagers. On the surface, it might appear that preteens primarily eat (pizza, gum, and anything with the word sour in it), sleep (nightly campaigning to push their bedtime an hour later), and go to school (begrudgingly). So, if that’s really all they do, why do they always look so tired and frazzled?
Days of rest really don’t really exist anymore. The reality is that preteens are feeling caught in their schedule, their access to culture, and the pressure to succeed. And the expectations placed on them are often too unrealistic for them to handle. As preteens figure out how to navigate these expectations, they face unprecedented anxiety.
But we know they don’t have to navigate these feelings on their own. We can help them discover how to find courage to face those expectations and come out stronger on the other side.
Here are some quick ideas to get you started:
The first step in navigating their stressful world is learning how to discern which activities are worth their time and will give them life rather than stress them out. Learning how to say “no” will be a skill they’ll use for the rest of their life. And yes, it sometimes takes courage not to do something because they’ll feel like they’re missing out or letting someone down. Help them understand that creating breathing room in their schedule will be more beneficial to them in the long run.
Make practicing courage a regular part of your family. Whether it’s a new cuisine, a new vacation spot, or a new activity, your family can set the tone for what it means to have courage. The more we try new things, the easier it becomes to, well, try new things. We want to raise kids who will meet the challenge of the world head on, which most often will take them out of their comfort zone. Teach them what this can look like while they’re still with you and learning what it means to be an adult.
Help kids realize that they don’t have to struggle on their own. We all need others to help us figure things out from time to time. During the preteen years, our kids will be stretched in all sorts of ways and will need help sorting it all out. Learning to ask for help, could be the key to their long-term success.
Help your kids understand that failure and mistakes are part of the learning process. How we respond when our kids bring home a bad grade, get in trouble at school, or miss their free-throws will determine what they believe about failure. Create a safe place at home where failure is a catalyst to success, rather than a reason to stop trying.
The preteen years play a huge role in the formation of their identity. They can go from skate punk to preppy in a matter of a few days depending on their latest group of friends. Don’t freak out, but give them space to discover who they really are and what they like. Encourage them to be confident in who they are as individuals created in the image of God rather than what their peers might think of them.
Your kid will face all sorts of situations throughout their preteen years that will require him or her to summon an added dose of courage. But remember, your words and actions have power in their life. Speak life to them. Be their biggest cheerleaders. Be the one that offers the most grace. Your constant love and support could be the catalyst for how they show courage in the future.
* The following article was copied from www.familylife.org.
Nap schedules, feedings, teething, separation anxiety, sickness, sports—when your kids are young, it seems like everything is working against your ability to attend church. Many Sundays, it seems much easier to just stay home.
Is going to church worth it? Absolutely. Even if you have to spend most of the service in the “cry room” with your baby, here’s why you should make regular church participation a part of your family culture from the get-go.
Church participation is not an area where you want to use your “do as I say, not as I do” card. Growing up, I knew we were going to church every Sunday. My parents were leaders in the church, and it was never a question, it was just a part of our family rhythm.
This made it a no-brainer for me once I moved away from home. As parents, you have the opportunity to set that precedent now for your future young adults.
It’s amazing to hear the truth and Bible stories little ones are able to retain! It is never, ever too early for them to hear that Jesus loves them. They’re never too young to be told that God made them and that He is good. Being present on Sunday mornings provides an opportunity for them to hear this affirmed from someone besides their parents.
Even if you and your spouse have to take turns hanging in the lobby with your toddler who refuses to stay in the nursery, you will learn something! Corporate worship times are powerful, too. That experience simply doesn’t happen when you choose to watch the gathering online from home.
The connections I have at church are such a lifeline for me. A healthy church is filled with people a few steps ahead of you who can be mentors, people in your stage of life who can be friends, and people a few years behind you who you can help develop. These relationships will be some of the most enriching you’ll ever have. You need the church, and the church needs you.
God wired you with gifts, interests, and abilities, and they aren’t for your enjoyment only! An elder in the church I grew up in once said that too many of us show up to church with our bibs on, ready to consume, when we should be showing up with an apron, ready to serve.
Ephesians 4:12 tells us that Christ gave Himself to “equip the saints [that’s us!] for works of ministry, for building up the body of Christ …” Here’s the incredible bonus about serving: once you’re in a well-functioning volunteer role that’s a good fit, you will be just as fulfilled as those receiving your gifts! God designed it that way.
The writer of Hebrews says it best: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (10:24-25). It is an honor and privilege to be a part of a church—one that believers in many parts of the world are literally dying for.
Take whatever steps you need to in order to make Sundays more manageable for you. Lay out clothes the night before. Prepare the simplest breakfast you can think of. Give yourself loads of extra time to compensate for the inevitable diaper blowout or other unforeseen event.
Showing up will be worth it.
* The following article was copied from www.careynieuwhof.com.
By Jeff and Wendy Henderson
Parenting is much like a pendulum.
The tighter you pull back on the pendulum the faster it pulls away when you ultimately release it.
The aim of parenting is releasing our kids into the world, prepared and ready. It’s why we should slowly but consistently release the pendulum throughout the teenage years.
In the early years, pulling tightly on the pendulum makes perfect sense. This is the season of car seats. But before you know it, the one in the car seat will literally be in the driver’s seat driving away.
If we still treat them like they are in the car seat when they are teenagers, they will drive away unprepared to make decisions as an adult.
If we still treat them like they are in the car seat when they are teenagers, they will one drive away unprepared to make decisions as an adult.
In our presentations to parents about social media, we hear (and understand) the strong temptation to completely control, restrict and ban its use in the lives of their kids. And, that might be the right call for some teenagers in certain seasons and for certain reasons.
Our concern though is what happens when the kids go off to college or ultimately leave the home – which, by the way, is the goal.
When the parenting pendulum has been so tightly pulled back, controlled and restrictive, the natural counter-reaction is to swing wildly in the other direction when released. There’s a phrase for this.
It’s called Freshman Year.
When the parenting pendulum has been so tightly pulled back, controlled and restrictive, the natural counter-reaction is to swing wildly in the other direction when released.
We can apply this parenting principle which is so helpful and true when our kids are teenagers:
Great parenting isn’t controlling. Great parenting is coaching.
Great parenting isn’t controlling. Great parenting is coaching.
This is true in all areas of life, and social media is one of them.
Coaching our kids on how to use technology is a much better strategy than simply controlling their technology use. That’s not to say you give up control. Remember, you are the parent. You are in control. But as Andy Stanley says, “Approach is everything.”
How we approach our kids on this and any topic makes all the difference.
Think of it like teaching our kids how to drive a car. If we dug in our heels and said, “There are a lot of things that could go wrong. You are not driving a car,” well, that’s an approach. But probably not a healthy one.
The better approach is what we normally do. It’s a process.
There is a learner’s permit, driving school and rules for the road.
We don’t just hand a teenager keys to a car and say, “Good luck.”
And yet, sometimes, that’s what happens with technology. We hand our kids a phone and say, “Good luck” with very little training or coaching.
It’s why social media should be like learning to drive. There should be a learner’s permit, driving school and rules for the road.
Since this doesn’t currently exist, we are going to give you ideas for each one of these.
The ultimate goal of this parenting roadmap is helping you slowly release the parenting pendulum so that when you ultimately release it the result isn’t a wild swing in the opposite direction. It results in our kids being released with the wisdom and maturity to make the best decisions possible.
Coaching our kids on how to use technology is a much better strategy than simply controlling their technology use.
Before you begin coaching your kids on social media, it’s helpful to begin with some basic rules regarding their phone use:
Please repeat this statement to your kids over and over: “The primary reason you have a phone is so that I can get in touch with you. It is not so you can get in touch with your friends.”
The “Find my Friends” app is your friend. Our kids know we are tracking them via their phone and we know exactly where they are. This is a great gift to us as parents (though we’re glad our parents didn’t have this!)
Limiting where their phone is used in the home will limit the use of their phone. (We discussed this in detail in our previous blog post.)
Inform them of the monthly cost of their phone and when they can, have them contribute to the cost. This not only teaches them about technology but also about finances.
Read their text messages. Yes, that’s right. Invade their privacy. We told our kids there should be no deleting of text messages. We didn’t tell them when we would read their text messages, only that we would from time to time. This helped provide some great conversations and coaching about how to respond to certain situations as well as getting a glimpse on what they are thinking. It also, perhaps, forced them to have an actual conversation with a friend versus texting about it. This was a win in and of itself.
Please repeat this statement to your kids over and over: “The primary reason you have a phone is so that I can get in touch with you. It is not so you can get in touch with your friends.”
You are the instructor of this school, even if you don’t consider yourself very tech-savvy. How the instructor drives is often how the student drives.
No phones at the dinner table.
When parents limit their own use of technology at home, it is modeling the way for their kids.
When parents limit their own use of technology at home, it is modeling the way for their kids.
With any school, there are certain milestones and tests that lead to graduation. As we said in our last post, when our kids wanted to get on Snapchat, we had an age milestone of 16 years old. Until they were 16, it was non-negotiable. Once they reached 16, they had to watch the sermon series “The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating” by Andy Stanley. Watching a series on love, sex and dating with your parents would certainly make any teenager wonder how much they really wanted a Snapchat account.
Point out positive role models on social media. Often, we only hear the negative side of technology. However, there is a very positive side. We have had great discussions about what certain athletes or other role models have shared on social media – whether it is a quote or how they are living their lives. This, of course, would require you to be following and taking notes of how you can leverage the positive stories you find and using it as a part of your social media driver’s school. Take advantage of the positive stories out there and use them as coaching tools.
Point out positive role models on social media.
Pick one social media channel and stay with that one for a year. There really isn’t any reason for our kids to have multiple social media channels starting out. It’s much easier for you to manage and train them with just one channel.
Once you have selected that one channel, be sure to follow your teenager and make their account private. Keep an eye on whom they are following and who is following them.
In most social media channels, you can be alerted when your teenager posts something. This allows you to encourage them on something they posted, or provide feedback if you didn’t like what they posted. Either way, the point is clear to your kids – you are paying attention to what they are doing on social media. It’s all part of the Social Media Driving School.
There really isn’t any reason for our kids to have multiple social media channels starting out.
Think of these ten rules for the road as road signs and speed limits. You might even consider posting them somewhere in your house.
Never text or post out of anger. It’s like going to the grocery store hungry. Both will lead to regret.
Never text or post out of anger. It’s like going to the grocery store hungry. Both will lead to regret.
Ask this question before texting or posting: “Would I want my parents to read this?”
Ask this question before texting or posting: “Will I regret this five years from now?”
Criticize in person not online. If you have something negative to say, say it directly and privately.
Are you able to take a break from social media for ten days? If not, it’s time to take a break from social media.
Are you able to take a break from social media for ten days? If not, it’s time to take a break from social media.
Be an encourager online, not a critic.
Be the same person online as you are offline.
If you aren’t sure you should post it, don’t.
The pictures you show of yourself should be modest and tasteful.
If you aren’t sure you should post it, don’t. The pictures you show of yourself should be modest and tasteful.
Never determine your self-worth and identity from social media. If you do, you have given over control of your life to other people.
In many ways, parenting is more challenging today than ever before because these days of technology are unprecedented. While it is understandable to parent out of fear, it’s much better to parent out of faith knowing that God loves our kids more than we do and He has promised to give us wisdom when we ask.
While it is understandable to parent out of fear, it’s much better to parent out of faith knowing that God loves our kids more than we do and He has promised to give us wisdom when we ask.
The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.
This is a guest post from Hannah Joiner.
I happened to be at the wedding when Reggie, my dad, read this letter to Mark on the day he gave his daughter Kristi away in marriage. Even though it was directed primarily to fathers, I couldn’t help but learn a few things myself. I also thought of a few secrets that my dad should know about his daughter that might be beneficial for other dads too.
Secret one: Rolling my eyes didn’t always mean what I was communicating to you.
I remember rolling my eyes as a little girl when my dad needed to take me by his office. The funny thing is I also remember REALLY wanting to go. I just didn’t want him to know that. Yes, we do play games, and I’m sorry it’s so confusing! I loved feeling like I was important enough to be around my dad’s workplace. It made me feel like he was proud to be my dad.
Secret two: I loved when you invested in getting to know my friends.
When my dad would get to know my friends (at any age), it meant the world to me. I pretended to be embarrassed sometimes. Little did he know, he was communicating his genuine interest in my life. What was important to me was also important to him. And I began to realize that his purpose was not to just make the rules, he wanted to build a relationship with me.
Secret three: Letting go helped me decide who I wanted to be.
When I was sixteen, I got into some trouble at school. I was scared to death of what my punishment would be when my dad got home. This is one of those times I remember him “letting go.” He didn’t really punish me, he just told me I was old enough to make my own decisions and that I was accountable to God and myself. The next day, he took me to work with him and treated me like an adult. This was a turning point in my life. I was heartbroken knowing he was disappointed in me. I WANTED a punishment so that I could just pay for it. Instead, letting go in that moment taught me who I wanted to be—someone that could make the right decisions without rules.
Dads, I wish I had been better at communicating to my father how much his holding on and letting go meant to me. The chances are your daughters will probably wish the same thing one day. If you are fighting for her and trying your best, she knows it. So don’t stop. Of course my dad didn’t do everything right, but none of that matters now because he fought for our relationship. I really believe that’s the most crucial part.
I hope this encourages every parent and ever leader to push on through the eye rolls and know that kids need you to fight for their heart. So keep doing what you do. Every day. Every week. And when that moment comes and you have to let go and let them walk away, you can know they will carry with them all the things you have done for them over time.
* The following article was copied from www.familylife.com.
My kids need to see that their value isn’t tied to their grades or what school accepts them. I need to encourage them to follow God’s design and purpose for their lives and not insist they conform to a specific formula for success.
By Tom Davis
“A top student, your classmate, has thrown himself in front of a train.” A somber teacher read the statement to the student body containing all too familiar words. It was November. A few days after homecoming and about a month before college applications were due.
In the last nine months, five high school students and graduates had ended their lives. Johanna, a high school junior lamented, “I have organized two memorial services for my friends and I am only 15 years old.”
This is Silicon Valley, the birthplace of the tech explosion. Yet in this bustling world of cool gadgets and bright ideas the teen suicide rate is four times the national average.
These schools, transformed by the tech boom, feed some of the best universities in the nation, including nearby Stanford and UC Berkeley. Known for excellence in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math), they provide opportunities to cultivate successful kids that most parents only dream about.
The pace and the cost of living in the San Francisco Bay Area keeps climbing. But parents continue to sacrifice so they can give their teens every possible opportunity to succeed.
The competition is tough. Kids are placed into “tracks” in math and science and English. These tracks become a big part of their social identity.
Teams of students compete nationally and consistently place in the top 10 percent in biology, math, and robotics. The school musicals are voted the best youth productions in the San Francisco Bay Area. And that has nothing to say of the prizewinning apps and inventions created by individual students.
Amid all these high achievements from successful kids, suicide casts a long, undeniable shadow.
I know what this pressure feels like. Raised and educated in the San Francisco Bay Area, I grew up with it. It drove me to do well in school and work hard in my career.
But as I read the news of another suicide I started to wonder, is it worth it? And what about my kids? I have always pushed them to succeed, but have I been pushing my kids too hard?
God created us to live in relationship and community. Something within us longs for acceptance. I had always looked for that acceptance through my career. As I looked over the names of teens who had recently taken their own lives, God began to challenge my thinking. What I needed to do was look beyond good grades, Ivy League acceptances, stellar resumes, and prestigious titles. I needed God’s perspective on success.
Reporters asked Mother Teresa if she was a success working with the poorest of the poor. She responded, “God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful.” Perhaps the best career choice for my kids is to be in the integrity business—showing honesty, kindness, respect, and being others-centered. These are qualities that God values and rewards. “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).
God does not always reward us in this lifetime with the type of success that I might imagine. I need to be okay with this. Jesus is more interested in the development of the moral character of His followers. I can strive for achievement, but I cannot let achievement be the measure of my value. Psalm 139 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” God places great value on us simply because we are His.
My teens need to see that their value isn’t tied to their grades or what school accepts them. I need to encourage them to follow God’s design and purpose for their lives and not insist they conform to a specific formula for success.
Jesus promised, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30). Why should the burden that we put on our kids be any heavier?
* The following article was copied from www.familylife.com.
Your preteen is embarking on the era of adolescence when many of life’s choices will be made, and they need you now more than ever. Preteens are unique because, unlike most teenagers, they still invite participation and closeness with parents—an attitude that will be changing soon.
While you have the opportunity, take advantage of this time to make long lasting impressions. Here are five reasons why your preteen needs you:
Your preteens are testing the waters of personality, style, and goals. They’re asking questions like, “Who am I?” As a parent, this is an opportune time to influence those decisions. Create thought-provoking conversations to help them work through the answers.
Time in the car is a great opportunity to talk about issues that happened at school. And a few minutes before bedtime can be ideal for discussing the troubling questions deep in their hearts.
As your preteen grows, they will explore new ideas and boundaries. As with any testing period, they will be faced with tough choices, and you must teach them how to discern good and bad. When the pressures of the world are overwhelming, they need you there to guide them through.
They won’t always want you to tell them what to do. They want to find out some things on their own. But they need to know that no matter what happens, you will be there, just like God is always there for His children.
Your child is still young enough to appreciate your interaction, so take advantage of it. As the teenage years approach, your children will start to pull away, and you’ll have to struggle to be a part of their lives. Start building a relationship now that will extend into the teen years.
That means you have to take time to listen, laugh, and create memories. If that’s too difficult, maybe it’s time to rearrange some things in your busy schedule until these years of opportunity fade away.
God set up the family so that His principles would be passed down from one generation to the next (Psalm 78:5-8). The responsibility of guiding your child falls to you, not to teachers, your child’s peers, or even church staff.
Maybe mistakes in your past make you feel inadequate to guide your preteen, but you are not insufficient with God’s help and grace. You don’t have to be perfect to be a good parent. You just have to share the testimony of how God’s grace has made such a difference in your own life.
Your preteen is going to make mistakes . . . especially as they grow into a teenager. Just as your heavenly Father extends grace, do the same for your child. When your preteen falls, be there to catch them. Make your home a place where they will always feel loved.
It can be easy to see all the things they do wrong. A parent may feel like it helps to point out mistakes, and sometimes it does. But don’t forget to look for the good in your child and praise them for the things they do right. No matter what, tell them every single day you love them and you are glad that God gave them to you.
* The following article was copied from www.blog.championtribes.org.
We all know that the teenage years can be a difficult season both for kids and their parents. It starts in middle school where kids begin a major life transition. They start to form their identity, their bodies start to change, and they begin asking bigger and more challenging questions of themselves and the world around them.
Later in high school and the later teenage years they begin to assert their own independence and wield the growing authority and ownership they have over their life.
During all of these stages, it is important to be effectively communicating with your teenager. To help you in that process here are 3 tips for effective communication with your teenager:
While at times it may seem like your son or daughter doesn’t want to open up or share with you, by just listening carefully and not prying too much they often feel safe enough to reveal what is going on in their life. Sometimes the small offhand comments is your teen’s way of communicating what is going on with them.
Your teenager wants to be taken seriously. Consider ways to both tell your teen and show them that they are trustworthy. Asking him or her to do you a favor is a sign of trust. Telling them that you trust them can boost their confidence. Giving them an extra privilege can be a sign that you trust them to make good decisions. It can be hard to give away control, but oftentimes it is best for your child in the long run.
It can be easy to downplay someone else’s feelings or emotions. Much harder to truly empathize. But most of the time when your teenager reveals something difficult to you all they are looking for is a space to vent. For example, after a breakup you might find yourself saying “She wasn’t right for you.” Maybe instead just try to empathize. “Wow, that is really difficult. I know that is something really hard to deal with. I am here for you.” For more tips on how to be a more empathetic parent and friend, be sure to check out our post on empathy.
This article was copied from www.allprodad.com
Pornography is a powerful threat to our sons. It skews their view of sex, love, women, and relationships. Obviously when we were younger access to graphic sexual images were not as easy to come by as they are today. A magazine belonging to friend’s dad or a movie on late-night cable TV was our most common exposure. Even in those seemingly more innocent days, there were things I saw at a friend’s house at an early age that were confusing. Quite frankly, they were damaging. It felt wrong but, fearing I’d get in trouble, I never told my dad what I had seen. I wish I had. With a palpable feeling of guilt, I was left on my own to try and figure it out. My dad didn’t have porn in our house; so naturally, he assumed I hadn’t been exposed to it. Things are so different now. Having the Internet on so many devices inside and outside the house means the barbarians are perpetually at the gate.
We can be more vigilant and protective about what they see. However, we can sadly assume that our sons will be exposed to it at some point. Maybe the silver lining in that assumption is that they will not be left alone in processing it. The best way to fight it is to prepare them for pornography — expose the ugly reality of it and it’s many dangers. It may be difficult, but here are 3 points on how to talk to your son about pornography.
An explicit image is stimulating and causes a scientifically proven chemical release in the brain. That is why we are drawn to it like the ring in Lord of the Rings. However when the viewing is over, we are left empty, unsatisfied, and full of guilt. Our conscience is telling us that something wrong has taken place. Sex is not wrong. Sex outside of the right context is wrong or, at the very least, not what it was made to be. The quickest way to deal with those feelings is to try and get another thrill but, when we return to porn, it gives a diminishing return of enjoyment. In the end, we need more to experience less, resulting in addiction and chains. In other words, it is a road to an addictive prison cell. Don’t be enticed down this road; choose the path that is life-giving.
A full life is found in relationships and shared experiences. Those things are built in reality, not fantasy. Porn is about entering a fantasy world. The more time we spend in that world, the more we become isolated. In essence, our soul becomes intertwined with something that isn’t real. There’s no connection, just loneliness exacerbated by guilt. When we fill our lives with nothing, we are left with nothing. Porn doesn’t provide anything, it takes everything. [Tweet This] Strong men of character are ones that are firmly founded in reality and relationships. Live in the real world.
One of the biggest and most dangerous of all lies is that porn stars know how to have the best sex. Great sex is experienced when two people know one another in emotional and physical intimacy. True intimacy and knowledge of one another comes in commitment. When women know we are committed, we create an environment where they feel safe to share their whole self with us. It’s a multidimensional connection, like a high wattage of electricity. Porn turns sex into mere physical acts. It is one dimensional sex and will always fall short of what it could be. In fact, it even falls short physically. We are all uniquely made. Personalities and bodies respond differently. Sex for a committed couple that continues to grow closer in love and knowledge of one another will continually get more passionate. It’s like becoming an expert at playing an instrument. A guitar is held and played much differently than a violin. The best sex is between a committed couple who have learned well how each other desires to be loved. Glorified actors who are actually deeply degraded and hurting people will never be able to come close to sex that good.
** This article was copied from The Gospel Coalition.com.
Our son wants a smartphone with an Instagram account.
He’s 12. He’s in seventh grade. He wants to be able to text his friends, send pictures, and chat in the afternoons and evenings.
His mom and I say “no.”
We’ve opened an Instagram account on my wife’s phone that he can use to post an occasional picture or, under our supervision, see what his friends are up to during the summer. But we’ve drawn the line at him having a phone at this age and all the social media accounts that go with it.
Crazy thing is, we’re the oddballs. Only a handful of his classmates are without a phone.
I’m not judging the decisions that other parents make, so long as they are informed and involved in their children’s lives. Every child is different. Parents can use discernment and come to different conclusions on this matter. I am, however, confident that we’re making the right decision for our families.
Naturally, our son has asked the question several times in several ways: Why not, Dad? Why not, Mom?
The easy answer would be: “There’s bad stuff on the internet and we don’t want you to access it.” We could talk about sexting and pornography and all the potential dangers of being online. But I know there are certain filters and barriers that impede that deluge of filth. Besides, the potential for future, sexual temptation is not our greatest concern anyway.
No, the real reason why our son doesn’t have a phone is because we think his middle-school years will be better spent without one. The answer I’ve given, over and over again, is this: I want you to be free from middle school drama when you’re at home.
Of course, our son thinks the phone represents a new rung on the ladder, the next step toward the freedom of adulthood. We think the phone, at his age, is a step down into slavery. It traps kids, just like it can trap adults, into the social game of likes and comments and never-ending comparisons.
James K. A. Smith describes the scene for an adolescent, and it’s one that virtually any adult could read him or herself into:
“The teenager at home does not escape the game of self-consciousness; instead, she is constantly aware of being on display—and she is regularly aware of the exhibitions of others. Her Twitter feed incessantly updates her about all of the exciting, hip things she is not doing with the ‘popular’ girls; her Facebook pings nonstop with photos that highlight how boring her homebound existence is. And so she is compelled to constantly be ‘on,’ to be ‘updating’ and ‘checking in.’ The competition for coolness never stops. She is constantly aware of herself—and thus unable to lose herself in the pleasures of solitude: burrowing into a novel, pouring herself out in a journal, playing with fanciful forms in a sketch pad. . . . Every space is a kind of visual echo chamber. We are no longer seen doing something; we’re doing something to be seen.”
There’s nothing wrong or immoral in the content the teenager in the above paragraph may access. But something still isn’t right about the whole scene.
Many Christian parents are rightly concerned about the content that their kids may access on the phone. But it’s not just the content that shapes us. It’s the entire device and how it operates, and the assumptions about our world that are smuggled in with it. The smartphone has apps tailored around one’s own desires, so that the phone says, all day every day, “The world revolves around you.”
In a recent essay in Comment, Peter Leithart writes:
“Tools want to be used this way and not that. My phone “wants” my wants to head in a certain direction. My phone trains me to expect instant satisfaction of my infinite desires. . . . Our world is jigged by phones, computers, and tablets toward self-absorption and roving, inattentive consumption. My phone turns my self into a cellph.”
This is a big deal. It’s why I devoted the first chapter of This Is Your Time to the smartphone (“Your Phone Is a Myth-Teller”) and how we can use this newly invented tool faithfully.
Social media promises to do two things simultaneously: resolve the human longing to “be known” andthe human longing to be “in the know.” The thirst for knowledge goes back to the Garden of Eden. We want to be “in the know,” and we want to “be known and loved.”
In the book, I call this “double thirst”—when you drink something that temporarily quenches your need for water, but that “something” has an ingredient that creates in you a greater thirstiness.
When you go to the phone, believing the myth that it can quench your thirst for knowledge, you’re inundated with information that makes you feel insignificant in the bigger scheme of things. That’s when the second longing kicks in, the desire to be known. Now you go to your phone in order to put yourself out there, to post selfies and comments because being present online helps you fight the feeling that you are insignificant.
Then, there’s a deeper aspect to all this. We recreate ourselves online because we worry that if we were truly known, we would not be loved.
It will be our generation’s task to chart the way forward in what faithful use of the smartphone will be. How does the gospel shape our smartphone habits? That’s an important question, and it’s why I’ve written a chapter on this subject, and why I’m heartened to see articles in Comment as well as a new book by Tony Reinke pressing us into deeper reflection on our habits.
For now, the simple “no” is best for our son. But this discussion should lead us as parents, who are too often glued to our phones, to contemplate what we’re saying “yes” to.
** The following article was copied from www.allprodad.com.
It’s not hard to find people talking about the challenge of motivating children, especially boys. It’s also not hard to find articles and opinions that decry parenting, education, social media, gaming, women’s rights, and a host of other factors. One expert in education quipped that, given current trends, 2068 will be the last year a U.S. male will graduate from college.
In his book, Boys Adrift, Psychologist Dr. Leonard Sax writes that “A third of men ages 22-34 are still living at home with their parents—about a 100 percent increase in the past 20 years.” They’re at home playing video games, Sax writes. These “grown” boys are motivated by the imaginary challenges of online gaming, but they have grown indifferent to the real world. The problems seem to be obvious, but what about the solutions? What can dads do to get boys back on track? Here are 5 ideas for motivating boys.
“Girl behavior is the gold standard in schools,” observed Psychologist Michael Thompson. “Boys are treated like defective girls.” We’ve got to stop playing it that way. Boys have unique strengths. Why not play to those strengths rather than constantly try to make boys into something they’re not?
Recess is being pulled out of schools. We can’t change that. However, you can have recess with your son after school. If your son doesn’t want to play competitive sports after school, take up a physical hobby together – fish, run, throw a football/baseball, lift weights, play golf, etc. More than one researcher points out the foundational biological need that boys have to express themselves physically, to engage in play, and to periodically disengage from the structured learning environment. “Although boys are more active, only a small percentage engages in 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity per day,” said Lorraine Robbins, assistant professor of nursing at Michigan State University.
Someone who is never thirsty is never motivated to look for water. So, we need to dismantle the “entitlement” economy so many parents have established and make sure your child is required to earn access to what he wants by accomplishing real goals. “Learned helplessness” has to be taught. Set deadlines. Impose structure. A Dad’s job is that of coach, not quarterback.
Encouragement is the key to motivation. Take the training wheels off, give the bike a helpful shove, even run alongside if necessary. Let go, but hang around to encourage. This means compliment real achievement, teach problem-solving skills, and then step back. Allow kids to achieve something worthwhile so your compliments actually mean something.
James Lehman, MSW, contends that boys should be required to venture out of their rooms and engage in life. No computer in the bedroom, no television, no video-gaming system, and certainly no smartphone if he’s not performing. He’s a boy, so he needs to be hunting and gathering in every aspect of his life.
** This article was copied from www.D6Family.com.
My friend Samantha Krieger just wrote a post called What I Want My Daughters to Know About Beauty & Worth. I recommend you read her post and subscribe to her blog. She is one of the best writers I know and you don’t want to miss what she has to say, especially for the wives and moms out there.
I don’t have any daughters, yet I found myself drawn into this post. Partly because I know the world gives women a very false message about beauty, and women live under an immense amount of pressure to live up to some false, air-brushed standard. I can’t imagine the pressure many/most women feel to do everything they can to make sure their daughter doesn’t grow up believing the lies.
The other reason I was so drawn to this article has very little to do with beauty and worth. Rather, as the dad to four boys, I desire for my boys to have the right message about masculinity and worth. While the battle/struggle for boys and girls might be different, the fight is still over their value and worth.
My kids are at a sweet age right now. The twins are almost 12, our middle boy is nine and our youngest is seven. They can do a whole lot by themselves, they are fun to play and talk with, and they still think I’m the greatest guy on the planet. I know someday (probably soon!) this will change, so I am enjoying it in the moment. This is the perfect season for me to drive home the lessons they need to learn about their value and worth. I know as my twins start junior high in the fall, their world will be shaken like never before.
A few years ago, I read the book Season of Life, by Jeffrey Marx. The book tells the story of Joe Ehrmann, a former NFL player who now spends his days teaching young men about a whole new meaning of masculinity. In the book, Marx shares the world’s definition of masculinity and how it centers around athletic prowess as an elementary/middle school boy, sexual conquest as a high school/college young man, and financial success as a young adult/man.
As I watch my boys grow older and older, I see these things being lived out in front of my eyes. The most “popular” elementary boys seem to be the ones with the most athletic ability, and as my twins get ready to enter into junior high next year, I know sexual tensions rise like crazy in these pre-pubescent, adolescent boys and girls. And as I watch young adults, I see the prestige that comes with nicer cars, bigger homes, and more powerful job titles.
And everything in me wants my boys to know that their value and worth is not tied into their athletic ability, sexual conquests, or financial success. I long for them to know they are loved by their mom and dad, and are loved even more than they can imagine by the God of the universe. I want them to know that Jesus died for them, that their value and worth is defined by His finished work on the cross of Christ, not by baskets scored, notches on the bedpost, or digits in their bank account.
I want my boys to know:
They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). My twins were conceived at just about the same moment in time (they are fraternal – VERY fraternal). Yet, even though they come from the same parents and were made and born seconds apart, they are still so different from each other. Where do those differences come from? Their Creator.
Their value comes from the fact that they are human beings, made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27).
Whatever the world offers is not worth it. So often the things we are drawn to (the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life) are not from God but from the world (1 John 2:15-16).
Choosing God over choosing to please man is going to be one of the toughest battles they will face. And it’s a battle they will fight every single day (I know I still do, every single day) (Galatians 1:10).
I want them to know that porn isn’t worth it. That even though it looks and sounds alluring and enticing, that it isn’t worth trying it out. I know they’ll want to google words and want to see pictures and videos. I know they’ll wonder what it’s like to be held by a woman and to feel her body against theirs. I know they’ll hear stories from their friends and they’ll feel left out. And I want them to know how AMAZING it is, but only in the right relationship at the right time (marriage).
I want them to know how much I regret the stupid things I did in my life because I thought the short-term satisfaction would be worth it. So many regrets because I chose to pursue the fleeting pleasures at the expense of God’s best.
That their mom and dad love them, unconditionally. They don’t have to earn our love and acceptance. There might be some days when I don’t “like” them, but I want them to know, much like the Father’s love for us, that they can’t and don’t need to try to earn the love of their parents.
My boys have a battle they need to fight. The world continues to drive home a message that says sports, sexual conquest, and financial/vocational success drive their value and worth. I am grateful for Samantha’s reminders that just as a daughter’s value and worth don’t come from their outer beauty, so doesn’t a son’s value come from athletic, sexual, or vocational success. I want them to know that their value and worth is best demonstrated in the cross of Christ.
Your Turn:
One of the best resources I have ever seen in knowing and understanding what it means to be a godly man comes from Watermark’s lead pastor, Todd Wagner. Check out his handout on 5 Characteristics of a Godly Man and watch his message as he talks through this list.
If you’re married and have sons, talk with your spouse about what you see in your son(s) that you are grateful for and what you see that concerns you. Pray for him/them after you discuss.
Talk with spouse about how you’re doing at driving home the right values with your children. Are you perpetuating the message of athletic, sexual and vocational success, or are reminding them about the source of their real value and worth.
** The following article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.
When it comes to parenting, it’s easy to think of a few goals for yourself.
You want to help your kids find something they are passionate about.
You want to give them a healthy self-image.
You want to challenge them and encourage them to grow.
You hope that they develop their own faith, instead of just parroting your own.
You could probably list a dozen off the top of your head, but there’s one unexpected goal I can’t stop thinking about.
What is it?
I want my kids to find me approachable.
It’s easy to approach someone with good news. I loved telling my parents I got an A or made the team or finished my project early. The bigger challenge is approaching someone with disappointing news. It’s harder to approach a parent when you’ve messed up or failed or made a mistake.
But that’s exactly when I hope my kids will approach me the most.
The alternative is deadly. The alternative is secrecy and hiding and loneliness for a kid who doesn’t know where to go with the trouble they’re carrying.
Often, when there’s a tragedy, you’ll hear a parent say about their child, “We had no idea.”
That’s one of the saddest situations in life to me. So how do we combat it? I have a few ideas:
I don’t just tell my kids they can approach me. That’s too vague. I say very clearly, “If you’re at a party and someone is smoking pot, give me a call. I’ll get you home.” Or, “If you make a mistake with some friends, let me know and we can figure it out.” I try to give real examples they can actually understand.
If you want your kid to talk to you, you have to create moments when they can. Some people grew up with dads who couldn’t be bothered when they got home. They’d hide behind a newspaper or TV, only emerging when dinner was made. How hard would it be for a kid with a secret to break the sanctity of that moment and share something difficult? Instead, do your best to create lots of moments where it’s easy to share.
My kids are going to be so tired of hearing me say that I am approachable. They are going to eventually say, “We know dad, we know!” Why? Because I never want them to forget it. I want them to always know they can tell me anything at any given moment. In order to get that to stick, I have to repeat it so that they actually believe it’s true.
A friend used to have a chair in her living room. If her daughter was in that chair, she had full immunity from whatever story she was telling her mom. Would that work for your family? Maybe, maybe not, I think it depends on the kid. But I applaud the parents for getting creative in their goal of being approachable.
It’s not the most exciting word. It’s not even a word we usually talk about when we talk about parenting. But trust me, you want to be approachable.
More importantly, your kids want you to be approachable.
** This article was copied from www.theparentcue.org.
I’m a “fix it” mama. Sibling argument? I’m there to mediate. Upset stomach? I have medicine for that. Shoes have a hole? No problem. I can buy new ones. Difficult homework? We can figure it out together (thanks to YouTube tutorials).
Yep. I was pretty good at the whole “Mom to the rescue” thing up until my kids entered their preteen / teen years, and then it all came to a screeching halt. For the first time, I was faced with things I had zero power to fix.
Broken heart? I couldn’t mend that. Hard time making friends? I couldn’t produce friends like a new pair of shoes. Poor body image? Have you ever tried to change the way a person views themself? I was at a loss on that one too.
Then there was the time he didn’t make the team,
she didn’t feel pretty enough,
she was searching for purpose,
he/she drove away by themself for the first time (and every time after that),
she saw the mass on the Cat-scan,
he suffered from anxiety,
she felt depressed,
he/she was living in the consequences of a bad choice,
she was processing hurtful words from a person I had no control over . . .
(deep exhale)
At some point I took my “Super Mom” cape off and embraced the fact that life had suddenly become a lot bigger than Band-Aids and notes in their lunchbox—a lot bigger than what I could easily fix.
The teen and young adult years aren’t just hard on kids. They’re hard on moms and dads too. They can leave us feeling as left out and as inadequate as they do our kids. And because now we can’t always provide a quick remedy we can feel like we’re failing as a parent. It’s clearly a wrong way to think, but I have felt it nonetheless.
For these reasons, I have never prayed more for my kids, and for myself, as I have during their teen and young adult years. Prayers that in the past I would keep to myself, I now share with close friends and ask them to pray with me. (Boy does it help to know others are going through the same thing.)
My prayers have become more desperate—a heart crying out because it needs God to do what only He can do.
My prayers have become a continuous conversation . (That whole “pray without ceasing” thing. . . yeah, I get it now.)I pray as I’m falling asleep. I pray in my car. Sometimes, I drive by their school, just to pray. I pray on my front porch as they’re leaving on dates. (Watching my son drive off with someone else’s baby girl or my daughter with a boy I’m just getting to know triggers intense prayer time!)
Sometimes I text my kids what I am praying for them because the days of kneeling by their bedsides are slowly fading.
I will always pray what our family has said since they were preschoolers that they would “Love God. Love people.” These words have hung over our front door for the last fifteen years. It’s what I would say to my kids when I dropped them off at school. But as they have grown, now ages 20, 18 and 15, so has the prayer list.
I now pray for . . .
healthy friendships
the person each of them will marry
guidance as they pursue college and jobs,
protection for their minds and hearts as they live in the world, but not of the world,
courage to be who God made them to be.
wisdom in their choices,
trust in a bigger plan when things aren’t going “right,”
joy in the midst of confusion and hurt.
Along with my prayers, I continue to encourage my kids to talk to God. When I see their hearts are heavy I’ll mention something like, “Why don’t you drive down to the lake and spend some time with God?” Or I’ll ask, “Have you talked to God about it?”
I know that as important as it is for me to pray for my kids, it’s just as important that they go to God on their own behalf.
I’ll also share with my kids what I’m experiencing as a parent. I’ll tell them I wish I could fix it but I can’t. But what I can do is pray, and I am praying.
If you find yourself in a place where “all you can do” is pray for your kids, know you are doing something very powerful. It’s not always a quick fix like what we could do when our kids were younger, but our words are being heard by the Creator of all things, the One who loves our children more than we do, the One who has the power to heal, mend, restore, defeat, resurrect, provide, protect, guide, counsel, and change.
Keep praying, mom and dad.
Keep sharing your prayers with those closest to you.
Keep talking to your kids about what you are praying.
Keep encouraging them to pray.
Keep trusting that in God’s time, He will have His way.
